Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Coming to Terms with the Inevitable

I wonder if there is any scientific evidence that proves people become more pessimistic over time. I just read an article that pushed me over the top (or off the edge, if you will) about the fate of our civilization: we are doomed.

The stupid people in our society outnumber the smart ones. It's just a fact of life. I'm not sure of the reasons for this, but I suspect stupid people figure less time reading = more time fornicating. It's also problematic that some very smart people, such as my friend Justin, make a conscious effort to not procreate, and as result, lessen our numbers. Our only hope is that they designate a planet that has an IQ requirement as a condition of living there.

What was the article that sparked all this, you ask? Alright, I'll share. But don't blame me when you find yourself depressed, knowing full damned well that we have no chance of surviving more than another 100 years or so. Here it is; the way I see it, this poor kid is destined for a tragic life whether he is the anti-Christ or not. His ignorant-ass mother will see to that.

Update: As promised, here is the link to the Onion's commentary about the idiot who thinks her baby just might be the anti-Christ.

15 comments:

serendipity said...

Oh god what a dumbass.....I ought to get in the car drive down there and smack some sense into the silly cow!

Poor kid.

Jay said...

Besides, what's wrong with a June 6 birthday? 6/6/6 will be my 29th, and I turned out just, well, oh crap. Never mind.

Ben said...

Hey Jay, if it were you're 66th birthday on 6/6/6, would that mean your the anti-christ to the 2nd power or something?

Maybe on you're birthday I'll write a post defining how you are, beyond a shadow of a doubt, the anti-Christ. Maybe I'll even post your email address so you'd definitely get hate-mail.

Tillerman said...

Hey - people like this are the reason the average IQ is only 100.

John Z said...

I think I know why stupid people outnumber smart people: it's just the law of averages. Meaning, most people will be average. Only a few will be very smart, a few really dumb. It's the bell curve.

As for people wanting more time for fornicating, this article says people's sexual desire is genetic.

If your significant other doesn't want to give it up, he/she may just not have the right genetic make-up to match your genetic lust.

Or, you're a lousy lay, which may or may not be genetic.

Jay said...

Ben,
Or fan mail, depending on who is reading your blog.

Ben said...

Hmmm, I'm not sure London's researchers were in a controlled environment. I'm pretty sure all of their sexual malfunctions stem from their teeth...

(j/k Serendipity)

serendipity said...

lol Ben.

I'm not easily offended.

SUE said...

How egotistical of this lady to think that SHE'S the one who's going to have the devil's kid...I'm sure there are much worthier incubators for the Antichrist than this chick.

Jen said...

Maybe the devil trys to spawn himself within stupid people. Anyone smarter would have known that she were impregnated and carrying the son of satan.

justin said...

Justin does, however, make a conscious decision to pursue a career as a university professor and hopefully put a dent in the stupidity of others' kids by attacking them where they play...film and television studies. Also, I've got some of the smartest cats in Atlanta.

Rebecca said...

That's GREAT! I love articles like this. The world would be so boring without people like that. :) One possible reason there are more stupid people than smart (besides the law of averages, of course): stupid people believe people who tell them they can't get pregnant if they have sex standing up, or their first time, or in a hot tub, etc.

Great blog, by the way!

Ben said...

Good point, Justin. It's a brave torch you carry. I just hope it can make a difference. Just remember, you get them after they've already graduated high school. How many slip through the cracks?

Anyone else see the onion hosted American Voices about this lady? I'll link it in the blog tonight.

Paul said...

Sue said:"How egotistical of this lady to think that SHE'S the one who's going to have the devil's kid...I'm sure there are much worthier incubators for the Antichrist than this chick."

I blame television. My local station has been playing The Seventh Sign almost non stop for the last few days.

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