Happy Birthday

To my friend Jay--may the world not end this afternoon.

It sorta reads like a hallmark, doesn't it? While I'm on the subject, I'd also like to wish happy birthdays to all the little tykes born over the next 24 hours (48, with time-zones accounted for? I don’t know how many they are, I just wanted to be all inclusive). It's probably going to be the only happy birthday for those of you with nutty moms that think they may have spawned the anti-Christ.

So when is it all going down? 6:06:06 tonight? 7:06 tonight (6 p.m, + 66 minutes)? What about the west coast? Is it just going to be a sweeping wave of destruction, starting with the east? Why does it matter about the year? Why not 6:06:06 every night?

Here's a tip for the superstitious--we invented numbers. Not only that, we invented the concept of time. I'm pretty sure God isn't bound to such limitations. If he's going to proper-fuck us, I'm pretty sure we won't be able to look at a clock or a calendar and guess when.

In other news, today's Feel Good. Pat Robertson is back with his whacky predictions. Thanks Atheist. For those who can't stomach the reading, I'll sum up:

1) The coast will be ravaged by hurricanes this year (if he "heard the Lord right")

No shit, Sherlock. In other news, some days it will be sunny, others will be rainy, and most days, your head will still be up your ass.

2) The Pacific Northwest is getting a Tsunami.

If God really cares about us, this guys house will get hit by a tsunami.

People who watch the 700 Club shouldn't be allowed to vote.

Just found a 2nd Feel Good. Isn't this sort of, you know, counter-productive?