Wednesday, June 14, 2006


Courtesy of Reuters:

Wed Jun 14, 6:50 AM ET

WELLINGTON (Reuters) - Live "sex shows" of bulls mounting a simulated cow have become a big attraction at an agricultural exhibition taking place in New Zealand.

The fake 'cow' -- a small go-kart with natural cowhide on its roof -- was developed by Ambreed New Zealand Ltd. to collect semen from bulls more safely and efficiently and improve artificial breeding of cows.

Similar machines are widely used in Europe but have yet to be introduced in New Zealand, where dairy products are its largest export.

The go-kart, driven by a human operator, draws close to a bull and adjusts to the proper height.

The experience can be a little alarming.

"It's quite a daunting feeling when you consider you've got a bull there that weighs a thousand kilograms sitting on top of you and is in quite an aggressive mood," Andrew Medley, production manager at Ambreed, told Reuters.

Bull semen is commonly obtained using a rubber device known as an artificial vagina which is put in place manually by two handlers.

My friend Chad added this:

  • Bull Jerker-Offer

    - Collected semen from bulls
    - Drove decoy mechanical cow “bitch”


Jen said...

wait. Is the worst job ever awarded to the cow "bitch" driver, or to the guy who has to manualy hold the artificial vagina in place?

Zander said...

Maybe the company saves money by having the same guy do both. Or does the driver have to shift the "simulated cow" back and forth to help finish the job?

In that case, I'd rather be the driver. I'm sure there's at least a sneeze-guard type of thing to protect him from bovine bodily fluids and all that stuff.

Anyone else getting hungry?

Ben said...

Jen, I'll leave that question to the philosophers.

Can you imagine, laying awake at night in the comfort of your own bed, staring at the ceiling, and thinking...dreading...loathing the thought of going to work the next morning?

God, what does a job like that pay?

Saffyre said...

What a vile job. Makes me feel better about office politics!

Ben said...

I'm also kind of curious about the quoter's title: production manager.

Can you imagine what he tells people when they ask what it is, exactly, that he produces?

Maybe he should change it to 'reproduction manager.'

SUE said...

I saw a documentary last year (Exec produced by Ed Norton)called "Dirty Work"...The WORST was the guy that had to hold the artificial cow vagina. I've seen it on a 25 foot screen nonetheless. Awful.

Ben said...

Isn't that the one with Norm McDonald and Artie Lange? Just kidding...although I am surprised they didn't work jacking off a bull into that movie.

erica said...

"God, what does a job like that pay?"

Hell, Ben, there are people out there who would probably do that sort of thing for free.