Thursday, August 03, 2006

Stupid work....

Always interfering with my blogging. Sorry, to any loyal readers who missed their daily dose yesterday.

Anyway, I need to take a break from television reviews. In addition to this post, I'll take a day off this week to post on the subject of choice from the animal groupings winner (whichever of you responds first with a topic). More importantly, all this talk of bad movies and Jim Belushi has me hankering for another top 5.

We'll stretch it out into two lists. In the first one, I want five movies that are just the worst. I'll watch them all, and list them from worst to first. In the second top 5, I want the worst movies that were supposed to be good. All the hype, only to fall flat on their face. Ishtar is a great example (and will certainly be somewhere on the list).

So lay it on me. David, I fully expect to hear from you, as I consider you somewhat of an 'expert.'


Nicole said...

movies that revolve around TRUE LOVE...for EX: the Notebook. Not that they are necessarily a "bad" movie, but they end up making women have crazy expectations on what love and marriage should be. { Because men are too simple of creatures to realize that most women want to be loved and cherished like that LOL} One of our best couple friends watched the Notebook and ended up having a WAR and didn't speak for 3 weeks, and I am serious. To this day nobody talks about the Notebook, {ok, I do if I am wanting to mess with HIS mind hehe}

Ben said...

I agree, movies do set the bar WAY to high for men. You're right on the mark calling us simple creatures, but your logic is off.

It isn't that we don't realize what women want, it's that we're incapable of giving women what they want. My wife is slowly coming to terms with the fact that I am USELESS on Sundays from September 6th until the end of football season.

I don't love her any less during this time, but my priorities shift from 'taking a walk with my wife and son' to 'drinking beer, laying on couch, watching football, and eating doritos.' It's just part of the package she signed up for.

Nicole said...

See, I myself can understand the football thing. Our football season, games are Thursdays, Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays, all depends on the CFL schedule and other things happening in the country. We ALWAYS make time to watch the games. Last year my city hosted the Canada games which is held over 3 weeks, so that threw a wrench into home games.
Movies like the Notebook do make women have these wild expectations. My good friend Tam always "whines" that her husband will NEVER love her like THAT.....I always tell her because this is how good of a friend I am, and honesty counts for everything.... "suck it up're the one who willingly copulated in his mustang and 9months later...."

I myself try to avoid the movie Cold Mountain, except I am sometime going to try the logic like in the movie if you say "I'll marry you so many times, it counts, then maybe "I'm divorcing you said so many times counts" LOL
I"m J\K

yellowdog granny said...

i dont have to think hard for the first one on my list...forest gump..the all time most stupid movie ever...i know thousands disagree, but dont care..i thought it was stupid is as stupid does...will have to think on the other four as i really love movies...and one of my favorites(not top 5, but up there is Ishtar..that moveie cracked me you can see im already off to a weird start..

SUE said...

Ah Ben, a list after my own heart... You'll have to hunt to find it, but the worst movie ever made is called "Scalps." I wrote a review for it under the name sohora way back in 2000 that is still on IMDB. Apparently, the director has a fan club, because suddenly it has a number of positive reviews. Regardless, it is absolutely the WORST MOVIE EVER. Hilarious, but awful. A close second is "Sorority Girls and the Creature From Hell," but I digress...

SUE said...

Wow...Upon looking at the entry for "Scalps," I couldn't help but notice that many of the commenters were discussing the larger catalogue of work by one Fred Olen Ray. I challenge you to find a better list of ridiculous movies to one's credit on IMDB outside of a porn actress. I bring you proof: this man can claim not just "Scalps" to his credit, but "Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers," "Attack of the 60 Foot Centerfolds," "Bikini Hoe-Down," and "Mom, Can I Keep Her?" which features one of the kids from Malcolm in the Middle and someone in a gorilla suite. Fred Olen Ray 4Evar!

Jigs said...

I followed K's advice and gave your blog a visit and a read! She's right, really good blog! :)

Excrementos the Fudgemaker said...

ok... "bad movies" is pretty general... you get different types. for instance, you can get the ones fantastically written, but a low budget, and poor special effects, like hloy grail, and strange brew. or you get just the opposite, with movies like american werewolf in paris, and Men in Black.

my absolute favorites though, are the ones that have a ridiculous script, with a ridiculously low budget, with easy to spot plot flaws.....

my list:

what is there not to love about this fine piece of american cinematography! when we first saw this, we made a GI BRO drinking game. i wish i still had the complete list of rules, but i can still remember a few of them. every time a german speaks in perfect english, take a drink. every time a character uses funny hand signals, take a drink. during the random naked chick scene, dont stop drinking. when you realize GI BRO is not the main character of the movie, finish your beer.

Petey Wheatstraw, the Devil's Son-in-Law
"Petey Wheatstraw was born on the night of a massive electrical storm right after his mother passed a watermelon through her birth canal." 'nuff said

Surf Nazi's Must Die
actually, anything by Troma Studios, these guys are dedicated to making terrible movies. so far, ive seen Sgt. Kabukiman N.Y.P.D, Time Barbarians, Cannibal! The Musical (by Trey Parker and Matt Stone), Pterodactyl Woman From Beverly Hills, and Redneck Zombies. none have been disappointing.

Evil Dead 2
ok, this could easily have gone the way of army of darkness, but ED2, just seemed lower budget... that, and it was my first truly glorious bad movie. my first time was special to me, and evil dead 2 made it magical... the stuff you only read about in fairy tales

and finally

Leprachaun in the Hood
the pinnacle of wonderfully bad movies. it truly does not get any better (worse?) than this. i have seen this movie no less than 15 times, and each time, i wince at how retarded it truly is. if you have never seen it, go to the video store RIGHT NOW, and get it. make sure to pick up a couple of 40s on the way home... you gotta watch this with 40 ounces of old english, or colt 45 or something... otherwise, it just doesnt feel right

honarble mentions, that just didnt make the cut
Atomic Dog
Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter
Test Tube Teens from the Year 2000
Gatorbait and Gaitorbait II
Shark Attack
Scarecrow gone Wild
Vampires vs Zombies

(some of these might have been top 5 worthy, but usually, we are pretty loaded to remember much.)

Jay said...

Many of these lists are low budget D grade movies. I think it is more challenging to find movies that actually came out in theaters and made you demand your money back. I have only done it once, and it was for John Travolta's Battlefield Earth.

Jen said...

Unfortunately I've seen "Leprechaun in the Hood"... or was it "Leprechaun in the Hood II"
I doubt theres much difference between the two, but I agree with Dave entirely. Whichever movie I saw, It was awful, and despite the horrific nature, which caused it to be humorous, I'd probably go insane if I saw it 15 times. I was barely able to stay awake for the movie, and fell asleep during the next blockbuster "Vampires vs. Zombies". I wish I could tell you more about the enchanting cinematography of this one, but again, I was passed out.

Shaman Dandulla said...

ps. would you post something on "grumpy old bastards"?? just a thought...

what do you think of Back to the Future (1985)?

BlessedHope said...

Personally, detested Cold Mountain. Supersize Me sucked. Maybe that's just my love of Mc D's and bad food talking, though:) However, anyone who would think it was a good idea to go on a straight McD's diet for a month should be put out of his deluded misery. I'm not fond of what I've seen of The Notebook, and that is saying something, as I am from Rachel Mc Adams hometown, and I think it may be one of the 7 deadlies here to admit not liking the Notebook. I saw a lot of bad ones last week, but I can't remember them. I try not to dwell on rotten movies. Pirates of the Carribean!! Arrgghh!! Horrible!! Hated it! Oooh, Sweet November. Sweet Home Alabama.
Okay, so I did come up with 5, well 6, sue me. I am so sick of men be treated as inferiors, I could just vomit. That's all I have to say.

Jaek said...

I have to agree with Jay. I read the entire epic book "Battlefield Earth" by L. Ron Hubbard and I was eagerly anticipating the movie's release.

It. Was. Horrible.

I cannot even bring myself to rent it to see if I missed something. It just sucked. I would almost rather sit through Weekend at Bernie's 2 before I suffer this drivel. And let's not forget Jack Black's brown spot in his career: Neverending Story 3.

Also, I have added you to my "Neighborhood".

Nicole said...

I actually REALLY liked Cold Mountain....damn you Inman...sigh

bad movie...freddy got fingered...tom green...puke