A Closed Door
4 hours ago
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Friday, January 20, 2012
I've Become a Stalker
I knew when I returned to blogging, all of my former readers would be gone. I also knew most, if not all, of the blogs I used to read on a daily basis would also be gone. But I hoped beyond all hope that one would remain active. Or at least active enough where I could contact the former owner.
Please Do It, Ms Hewitt by a Concerned Fan
The premise of the blog was to start an online petition to Jennifer Love Hewitt to pose for playboy. That in itself is a noble cause, but the blog offered so much more: fake news, Eulogies from Gary Coleman, but what really kept me coming back for more was this man:
Letters from Wilford Brimley, speaking out about The Diabetes, Relationships, Chlamidya, and even NCAA brackets. That's the history. Let's fast forward to today.
The blog is dead, and has been for three years as of yesterday. I left a post there, hoping he still checked it from time to time. I sent an email to pleasedoitmshewitt@yahoo.com, and wilford_god_damn_brimley@yahoo.com, hoping they were not defunct. My call went unanswered. I scoured his blog for clues to his identity or any other form of contact. I only know he is approximately my age, and lived in Cambridge.
Then I stumbled upon a final clue. My last, best chance. He went on to mention he was an old college buddy of another blogger. I again tried my best through the outdated contact information posted on his friend's dead blog. No dice.
Finally, I did the only thing left I knew to do. I googled his friend, found a living website, and sent him an email. Here was my plea:
Ladies and gentlemen, I received a response just now:
Okay, so it isn't exactly the response I hoped for, but "I think I know who you're talking about, I forwarded them the email, and you may or may not have hit a dead end" will have to do, unless any of you have any more suggestions.
What is my objective in all of this, you ask? Well, in a perfect world, I'll convince him to rise from the ashes and begin posting again. Shortly thereafter, we'll go out for beers since we live so close to each other (which I never realized until I started stalking).
It's not a perfect world, though. He may wish his blog to remain dead, having felt it has run its course. I can respect that. In that case, I'd just request written permission to carry the torch, and begin to post Wilford Letters shamelessly in his style. And maybe the occasional plea to Ms. Hewitt to disrobe. I'd like to do this to not only enrich this blog with stolen content, but to honor the memory of a once favorite read.
If you're still out there, Concerned Fan, know that you are missed. Hopefully my email makes it into your hands, and my pleas do not fall on deaf ears.
With Best Regards,
A Concerned Fan of A Concerned Fan
Please Do It, Ms Hewitt by a Concerned Fan
The premise of the blog was to start an online petition to Jennifer Love Hewitt to pose for playboy. That in itself is a noble cause, but the blog offered so much more: fake news, Eulogies from Gary Coleman, but what really kept me coming back for more was this man:
Letters from Wilford Brimley, speaking out about The Diabetes, Relationships, Chlamidya, and even NCAA brackets. That's the history. Let's fast forward to today.
The blog is dead, and has been for three years as of yesterday. I left a post there, hoping he still checked it from time to time. I sent an email to pleasedoitmshewitt@yahoo.com, and wilford_god_damn_brimley@yahoo.com, hoping they were not defunct. My call went unanswered. I scoured his blog for clues to his identity or any other form of contact. I only know he is approximately my age, and lived in Cambridge.
Then I stumbled upon a final clue. My last, best chance. He went on to mention he was an old college buddy of another blogger. I again tried my best through the outdated contact information posted on his friend's dead blog. No dice.
Finally, I did the only thing left I knew to do. I googled his friend, found a living website, and sent him an email. Here was my plea:
"Greetings,
I'm trying to track down a means to contact the former owner of the blog, Please Do It, Ms. Hewitt. He mentioned in one of his posts that you guys go back a ways, so I thought I would try contacting you. I tried emailing your anonymouslawyer@yahoo.com but apparently that is also defunct.
I was a regular reader of Please Do It, Ms. Hewitt when I was an active blogger. Now, after several years hiatus, I've returned to the blogosphere only to find all of my favorite old haunts are gone. It's a credit to his writing that the author of PDIMH is the only one I'm actively stalking to post an update. Hopefully you can help.
I need to resurrect Wilford Brimley, just one more God damn time. I need one final plea to Ms. Hewitt to disrobe. If you know him, please forward my contact email to him. If you don't, I'm sorry to have bothered you. Thanks!
Ben McKnight
http://daydreamed.blogspot.com"
Ladies and gentlemen, I received a response just now:
"I forwarded your e-mail to the friend of mine who I believe I'm remembering correctly was the author. So he may or may not get back to you, but I'm sure he will appreciate the note.
Best,
Jeremy"
Okay, so it isn't exactly the response I hoped for, but "I think I know who you're talking about, I forwarded them the email, and you may or may not have hit a dead end" will have to do, unless any of you have any more suggestions.
What is my objective in all of this, you ask? Well, in a perfect world, I'll convince him to rise from the ashes and begin posting again. Shortly thereafter, we'll go out for beers since we live so close to each other (which I never realized until I started stalking).
It's not a perfect world, though. He may wish his blog to remain dead, having felt it has run its course. I can respect that. In that case, I'd just request written permission to carry the torch, and begin to post Wilford Letters shamelessly in his style. And maybe the occasional plea to Ms. Hewitt to disrobe. I'd like to do this to not only enrich this blog with stolen content, but to honor the memory of a once favorite read.
If you're still out there, Concerned Fan, know that you are missed. Hopefully my email makes it into your hands, and my pleas do not fall on deaf ears.
With Best Regards,
A Concerned Fan of A Concerned Fan
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
The Republican Class of 2012
I'm late to the party this year. Three would-be candidates have already dropped out, so reviewing them would be pretty pointless now. I suppose I didn't miss much in the cases of Michelle Bachmann (lunatic) and Herman Cain (seriously?), but John Huntsman was a terrific candidate that never gained any attention.
Huntsman is smart, patriotic, conservative, handsome, and he's never flip-flopped. All things important to any self-respecting conservative. Plus, he had a top five record in job creation while he was governor. Anyway, it's all for nothing now, on to the five who (technically) remain.
Former Governor Mitt Romney:
Mitt's big selling point to the general public is that in this economy, we need a business man for president, and as a business man, he made a mountain of cash and created "over 100,000 jobs."
I'm not going to contest that he made a mountain of cash as the CEO of Bain Capital, but I do question at whose expense that came. Also, his claim of creating 100,000+ jobs is questionable at best. He claims it is a net-net (jobs gained from successful companies, minus jobs lost at companies that went out of business), but he really hasn't provided any data to back that claim up. Come to think of it, he still hasn't provided his tax returns either. Ever.
My last point on Romney, as governor of Massachusetts, he came in (drum roll please) 47th in job creation during his time as governor.
Newt Gingrich:
Newt is a hell of a debater. He's won every debate I've watched so far (nearly all of them), but at the end of the day he just isn't going to make it. Romney's Super PAC destroyed him in Iowa and he hasn't recovered. If he doesn't recover in South Carolina, he's done.
He also managed to not get on the ballot in Virginia. Plenty of politicians skip certain states (Santorum should have skipped New Hampshire, Paul plans on skipping Florida) but generally you don't skip your HOME STATE, and WHERE YOUR CAMPAIGN IS HEADQUARTERED. It generally shows Newt lacks the organization to make a serious run at this point.
He's only staying in at this point to tear down Romney, angry because of what his Super PAC did to him in Iowa. The irony is, by staying in he is only helping Romney by fracturing the "anti-Romney" field, dividing the remaining votes.
Rick Santorum:
-Young MC
Rick Santorum has no money. He almost managed a win in Iowa thanks to the fact that Iowans HATED every other possible candidate. That gave him the cash to continue and compete in New Hampshire and South Carolina, but he doesn't have the money to compete in Florida. That's a good thing because he believes kids with a father in jail is better for the kid than to have two gay parents.
Rick Perry:
This guy should have quit after finishing 5th in Iowa. He should have quit after garnering 1% of the vote in New Hampshire. He probably should have quit after he couldn't recall which three agencies of government he would eliminate during a national debate. Yet he presses on. He's dead in the water, so I won't waste any more time on him.
Ron Paul:
I love Ron Paul. He consistently tells the truth (at least more than most politicians) and stands behind what he says, even if it's insanely unpopular, like his foreign policy.
I like his foreign policy too. If you're not familiar with it, he wants to stop policing the world, bring our troops home, secure our own borders, and stop wasting money. What's not to like about that?
He's viewed as a cross between a cantankerous old grandfather and a lunatic by most people. Ultimately, he doesn't have a chance to win the nomination. However, he and Mitt Romney show they are in a dead-heat vs. Obama in recent polls. I'd be interested in seeing what that poll looked like if he ran as a 3rd party candidate against Obama AND Romney.
UPDATE:
I almost forgot a major player in the election cycle.
Stephen Colbert:
After polling at 5% in South Carolina, 1% above the now defunct John Huntsman, Stephen Colbert has turned his eye towards the presidency. Since it is too late to get on the South Carolina ballot, Colbert is urging all of his supporters to vote for Herman Cain. It'll be interesting to see how much support a candidate who is no longer in the race can garner.
It should also be noted that Colbert has appointed Jon Stewart to head his Super PAC, The Definitely Not Coordinating With Stephen Colbert Super PAC, Americans for a Better Tomorrow, Tomorrow.
Jon Stewart, "a loose cannon," as Colbert describes him, even ran an ad portraying Mitt Romney as a serial killer:
Things could get interesting by Texas. It's not too late to get on the ballot there, so there is a distinct possibility that he could actually be awarded delegates.
Huntsman is smart, patriotic, conservative, handsome, and he's never flip-flopped. All things important to any self-respecting conservative. Plus, he had a top five record in job creation while he was governor. Anyway, it's all for nothing now, on to the five who (technically) remain.
Former Governor Mitt Romney:
Mitt's big selling point to the general public is that in this economy, we need a business man for president, and as a business man, he made a mountain of cash and created "over 100,000 jobs."
I'm not going to contest that he made a mountain of cash as the CEO of Bain Capital, but I do question at whose expense that came. Also, his claim of creating 100,000+ jobs is questionable at best. He claims it is a net-net (jobs gained from successful companies, minus jobs lost at companies that went out of business), but he really hasn't provided any data to back that claim up. Come to think of it, he still hasn't provided his tax returns either. Ever.
My last point on Romney, as governor of Massachusetts, he came in (drum roll please) 47th in job creation during his time as governor.
Newt Gingrich:
Newt is a hell of a debater. He's won every debate I've watched so far (nearly all of them), but at the end of the day he just isn't going to make it. Romney's Super PAC destroyed him in Iowa and he hasn't recovered. If he doesn't recover in South Carolina, he's done.
He also managed to not get on the ballot in Virginia. Plenty of politicians skip certain states (Santorum should have skipped New Hampshire, Paul plans on skipping Florida) but generally you don't skip your HOME STATE, and WHERE YOUR CAMPAIGN IS HEADQUARTERED. It generally shows Newt lacks the organization to make a serious run at this point.
He's only staying in at this point to tear down Romney, angry because of what his Super PAC did to him in Iowa. The irony is, by staying in he is only helping Romney by fracturing the "anti-Romney" field, dividing the remaining votes.
Rick Santorum:
"If you got no money and you got no car, then you got no woman, and there you are..."
-Young MC
Rick Santorum has no money. He almost managed a win in Iowa thanks to the fact that Iowans HATED every other possible candidate. That gave him the cash to continue and compete in New Hampshire and South Carolina, but he doesn't have the money to compete in Florida. That's a good thing because he believes kids with a father in jail is better for the kid than to have two gay parents.
Rick Perry:
This guy should have quit after finishing 5th in Iowa. He should have quit after garnering 1% of the vote in New Hampshire. He probably should have quit after he couldn't recall which three agencies of government he would eliminate during a national debate. Yet he presses on. He's dead in the water, so I won't waste any more time on him.
Ron Paul:
I love Ron Paul. He consistently tells the truth (at least more than most politicians) and stands behind what he says, even if it's insanely unpopular, like his foreign policy.
I like his foreign policy too. If you're not familiar with it, he wants to stop policing the world, bring our troops home, secure our own borders, and stop wasting money. What's not to like about that?
He's viewed as a cross between a cantankerous old grandfather and a lunatic by most people. Ultimately, he doesn't have a chance to win the nomination. However, he and Mitt Romney show they are in a dead-heat vs. Obama in recent polls. I'd be interested in seeing what that poll looked like if he ran as a 3rd party candidate against Obama AND Romney.
UPDATE:
I almost forgot a major player in the election cycle.
Stephen Colbert:
After polling at 5% in South Carolina, 1% above the now defunct John Huntsman, Stephen Colbert has turned his eye towards the presidency. Since it is too late to get on the South Carolina ballot, Colbert is urging all of his supporters to vote for Herman Cain. It'll be interesting to see how much support a candidate who is no longer in the race can garner.
It should also be noted that Colbert has appointed Jon Stewart to head his Super PAC, The Definitely Not Coordinating With Stephen Colbert Super PAC, Americans for a Better Tomorrow, Tomorrow.
Jon Stewart, "a loose cannon," as Colbert describes him, even ran an ad portraying Mitt Romney as a serial killer:
Things could get interesting by Texas. It's not too late to get on the ballot there, so there is a distinct possibility that he could actually be awarded delegates.
Monday, January 16, 2012
Napoleon Dynamite
There are so many things I want to write about today. Since returning, I have yet to weigh in on the Republican nomination. Fear not, loyal reader(s), it's coming. Just not today. Replacing "the Cleveland Show" last night on Fox's Animation Domination was none other than Napoleon Dynamite.
Come again?
That's right. The movie (which I loved, by the way) which was relevant for about 5 minutes in 2004 to about 50 people has resurfaced as a cartoon on Fox.
"Napoleon Dynamite"
When: Sundays, 8:30 PM EST
Who: Jon Heder, Aaron Ruell, Efren Ramirez, Halie Duff, John Gries, Sandy Martin
Where: Fox
What:
Imagine Napoleon Dynamite the movie, and now replace it in your head with cartoon characters instead of actors.
The talent:
They've reunited the entire cast, as far as I can tell, from the movie to the cartoon. This is presumably because none of them had been working anyway.
Projected Longevity of the Show:
Well, it's on Fox, so chances are if it is successful, they will subsequently mishandle and cancel it. That said, I don't think this one is ready to catch fire any time soon. The bar has been set pretty low, as it's replacing Jonah Hill's hot mess called Allen Gregory, which I barely remember hearing about and never watching.
Projected Watchability:
Women: 3 out of 10
Men: 5 out of 10
As I said in the beginning, only a handful of people have heard of the movie, so I guess there will be a lot that is lost in translation as people get to know the characters. It's going to be sandwiched in a popular line up, so it has that going for it. I tried to watch the first two episodes and fell asleep during each.
It is also worth mentioning that I've found no evidence that the Cleveland Show has been cancelled. Apparently this was just a one-time thing.
Since you were so good to read the entire post, here's your reward in the form of today's DAILY FEEL GOOD. The best part comes at the end when the report reveals that this is the third such occurrence in recent months at a Detroit Chuck-E-Cheese.
Come again?
That's right. The movie (which I loved, by the way) which was relevant for about 5 minutes in 2004 to about 50 people has resurfaced as a cartoon on Fox.
"Napoleon Dynamite"
When: Sundays, 8:30 PM EST
Who: Jon Heder, Aaron Ruell, Efren Ramirez, Halie Duff, John Gries, Sandy Martin
Where: Fox
What:
Imagine Napoleon Dynamite the movie, and now replace it in your head with cartoon characters instead of actors.
The talent:
They've reunited the entire cast, as far as I can tell, from the movie to the cartoon. This is presumably because none of them had been working anyway.
Projected Longevity of the Show:
Well, it's on Fox, so chances are if it is successful, they will subsequently mishandle and cancel it. That said, I don't think this one is ready to catch fire any time soon. The bar has been set pretty low, as it's replacing Jonah Hill's hot mess called Allen Gregory, which I barely remember hearing about and never watching.
Projected Watchability:
Women: 3 out of 10
Men: 5 out of 10
As I said in the beginning, only a handful of people have heard of the movie, so I guess there will be a lot that is lost in translation as people get to know the characters. It's going to be sandwiched in a popular line up, so it has that going for it. I tried to watch the first two episodes and fell asleep during each.
It is also worth mentioning that I've found no evidence that the Cleveland Show has been cancelled. Apparently this was just a one-time thing.
Since you were so good to read the entire post, here's your reward in the form of today's DAILY FEEL GOOD. The best part comes at the end when the report reveals that this is the third such occurrence in recent months at a Detroit Chuck-E-Cheese.
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Tim Tebow
Even for those of you who have never watched a football game, you probably know who this guy is. Over the past several months, he has inexplicably become a media darling and a national icon. It's time I weigh in on the subject.
I hate Tim Tebow.
Maybe that's too harsh. I believe, at his core, he is a good man. I think he possesses qualities that I myself am jealous of. He has unshakable faith. Even after I developed a faith of sorts in God, I've never been able to remove all doubt, no matter how badly I wanted it. I've come to terms with the fact that I'm just not wired that way, and I'm very grateful for the relationship I do have with a Higher Power, even if it's a round peg in a religious square hole.
He gives to charity. A lot. He seems to genuinely care about the plight of the human race. I can't afford to give to charity, but I wonder, even if I could, would I? I like to think I would. I've even researched the non-profits I would like to give to. But at the end of the day, if the world were divided into givers and non-givers, where would I cast my lot?
He's a hell of a teammate. I cannot deny his charisma, his selflessness (although this can be debated on certain levels I won't get into here), his desire to win, and his ability to inspire. The team clearly rallied behind him, and there is no contesting that.
Maybe a more fair statement is: I hate what the media has turned Tim Tebow into for the sake of a better story.
Tim Tebow is a bad quarterback.That's a statement I can make in all fairness. For all of the intangibles I just listed, at the end of the day, he still lacks the tangibles.
In his final game of the season, Tebow went 9-for-26, 136 yards, no touchdowns, no interceptions, and a fumble lost. He's only been above 50% in completion percentage twice in his brief career. In 23 games, he has completed 167 of 353 passes, for a dismal 47.3%, 17 touchdowns, 9 interceptions, and a very, very mediocre 75.1 Quarterback Rating. Dear Readers, there is a chance that I could post similar numbers in an NFL uniform.
I heard on television this morning, consistent with the media rhetoric, that these are better numbers than Aaron Rogers and Drew Brees had coming into the league, and that Tebow will be a force in the NFL for years to come. If I were to venture a guess, I would say he has less than 3 years left, and if for some reason he goes longer, it's out of fear of a media backlash, or a backlash from the fans that inexplicably continue to defend his piss-poor play at the quarterback position.
I hate Tim Tebow.
Maybe that's too harsh. I believe, at his core, he is a good man. I think he possesses qualities that I myself am jealous of. He has unshakable faith. Even after I developed a faith of sorts in God, I've never been able to remove all doubt, no matter how badly I wanted it. I've come to terms with the fact that I'm just not wired that way, and I'm very grateful for the relationship I do have with a Higher Power, even if it's a round peg in a religious square hole.
He gives to charity. A lot. He seems to genuinely care about the plight of the human race. I can't afford to give to charity, but I wonder, even if I could, would I? I like to think I would. I've even researched the non-profits I would like to give to. But at the end of the day, if the world were divided into givers and non-givers, where would I cast my lot?
He's a hell of a teammate. I cannot deny his charisma, his selflessness (although this can be debated on certain levels I won't get into here), his desire to win, and his ability to inspire. The team clearly rallied behind him, and there is no contesting that.
Maybe a more fair statement is: I hate what the media has turned Tim Tebow into for the sake of a better story.
Tim Tebow is a bad quarterback.That's a statement I can make in all fairness. For all of the intangibles I just listed, at the end of the day, he still lacks the tangibles.
"But Ben, he wins games. How can you say he is a bad quarterback when he succeeds at the only stat that really matters?"Because the last time I checked, there are 26 guys on a football team, and 13 more that play on special teams (which may or may not be part of the 26 that play regularly). Football teams count on 53 guys to win on any given Sunday, and Tebow is just the guy who is getting the credit for their success.
In his final game of the season, Tebow went 9-for-26, 136 yards, no touchdowns, no interceptions, and a fumble lost. He's only been above 50% in completion percentage twice in his brief career. In 23 games, he has completed 167 of 353 passes, for a dismal 47.3%, 17 touchdowns, 9 interceptions, and a very, very mediocre 75.1 Quarterback Rating. Dear Readers, there is a chance that I could post similar numbers in an NFL uniform.
I heard on television this morning, consistent with the media rhetoric, that these are better numbers than Aaron Rogers and Drew Brees had coming into the league, and that Tebow will be a force in the NFL for years to come. If I were to venture a guess, I would say he has less than 3 years left, and if for some reason he goes longer, it's out of fear of a media backlash, or a backlash from the fans that inexplicably continue to defend his piss-poor play at the quarterback position.
Friday, January 13, 2012
Friday the 13th
For a guy who isn't superstitious, it's been a pretty shitty day. I'm not at liberty to divulge the dirty details, but let's just say it wasn't good.
Fortunately, there was plenty in the news to cheer me up. I don't just have one daily "feel good" for you, today I have three:
Disturbing AND Impressive
You're never too young to be a homophobe
Tell me again why you would share this with a co-worker?
In unrelated news, I continue to perform blog maintenance, repairing dead links and YouTube videos. I'm searching all of my comments for former friends to see if they are still active (very few of them are). Basically, it looks like I've more or less got to start from scratch. I've got the blogroll started again, that's a start. This weekend I'm going to try and reorganize all the post Labels into something more coherent and searchable.
If you stop by, be sure to say hello so I know all my efforts aren't for naught at this point.
Fortunately, there was plenty in the news to cheer me up. I don't just have one daily "feel good" for you, today I have three:
Disturbing AND Impressive
You're never too young to be a homophobe
Tell me again why you would share this with a co-worker?
In unrelated news, I continue to perform blog maintenance, repairing dead links and YouTube videos. I'm searching all of my comments for former friends to see if they are still active (very few of them are). Basically, it looks like I've more or less got to start from scratch. I've got the blogroll started again, that's a start. This weekend I'm going to try and reorganize all the post Labels into something more coherent and searchable.
If you stop by, be sure to say hello so I know all my efforts aren't for naught at this point.
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
I'm Back, and Better Than Ever...
I finally, after years of absence, feel inspired to write again. I spent the last couple of hours cleaning up the blog. The first thing to go were the goddamn sponsored posts. Next, I cleaned up my list of daily reads. It's still incomplete, but it's at least more current. I didn't even remember what half of the websites on there were, much less read them daily.
This week, I've got to meticulously go through the comments of my posts, find my old friends, and figure out if they are still active or not. Then I need to figure out how to get my blog roll working again so I remember to go read what they are up to.
So where is all of this going? What am I going to write about? Why on earth would you ever visit here again?
1) We're entering a political season once more. That means a wealth of humor.
2) Things that piss me off. Scroll through my old posts and see if you like my style when I fly off the handle.
3) Television. I'm a hopeless addict.
If I ventured a guess, that would be the three topics I'd say nearly every post in 2012 will be about. If you dabble in such things, and enjoy laughing until shit flies out of your nose, then this blog is for you. If you don't, feel free to stick around anyway.
This week, I've got to meticulously go through the comments of my posts, find my old friends, and figure out if they are still active or not. Then I need to figure out how to get my blog roll working again so I remember to go read what they are up to.
So where is all of this going? What am I going to write about? Why on earth would you ever visit here again?
1) We're entering a political season once more. That means a wealth of humor.
2) Things that piss me off. Scroll through my old posts and see if you like my style when I fly off the handle.
3) Television. I'm a hopeless addict.
If I ventured a guess, that would be the three topics I'd say nearly every post in 2012 will be about. If you dabble in such things, and enjoy laughing until shit flies out of your nose, then this blog is for you. If you don't, feel free to stick around anyway.
Sunday, March 01, 2009
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Friday, January 02, 2009
Christmas Wish List
My friends yell at me because i have the worst memory on earth. They would periodically ask me what I wanted for Christmas, and I could never remember anything I wanted. So my new years resolution is to keep this list up to day and email it to them whenever they ask.
1) Into The Wild Green Yonder, Movie, Futurama
2) Mr. Sebastian and the Negro Magician, book by Daniel Wallace
3) Gift certificates to Best Buy or Borders/Barnes & Noble
4) Surprise me, like my friend Ray Christmas 2008, with something related to my favorite books, authors, or hobbies. (Photography, Maurice Sendak, Douglas Adams, Futurama, etc--ask for more).
5) A shirt that says I #%@& on the first date. Jack Black wore it in Tropic Thunder and I found it hilarious.
6) Nikon D300 Camera Body. If I have 100 friends, and you all kick in $17, this can be a reality.
1) Into The Wild Green Yonder, Movie, Futurama
2) Mr. Sebastian and the Negro Magician, book by Daniel Wallace
3) Gift certificates to Best Buy or Borders/Barnes & Noble
4) Surprise me, like my friend Ray Christmas 2008, with something related to my favorite books, authors, or hobbies. (Photography, Maurice Sendak, Douglas Adams, Futurama, etc--ask for more).
5) A shirt that says I #%@& on the first date. Jack Black wore it in Tropic Thunder and I found it hilarious.
6) Nikon D300 Camera Body. If I have 100 friends, and you all kick in $17, this can be a reality.
Saturday, November 08, 2008
I can be me again
Now that the election is over (suck it, McCain supporters), I can be me again. First, some comic relief.
Wednesday, October 08, 2008
Monday, October 06, 2008
It's 1984....
Per the St. Petersburg Times, by Eileen Shulte
"We are at war with Eurasia. We have always been at war with Eurasia."
CLEARWATER -- Constantly under the watchful eyes of security, the media wasn't permitted to wander around inside Coachman Park to talk to Sarah Palin supporters. When reporters tried to leave the designated press area and head toward the bleachers where the crowd was seated, an escort would dart out of nowhere and confront him or her and say, "Can I help you?'' and turn the person around.
When one reporter asked an escort, who would not give her name, why the press wasn't allowed to mingle, she said that in the past, negative things had been written. The campaign wanted to avoid that possibility Monday.
"We are at war with Eurasia. We have always been at war with Eurasia."
Saturday, October 04, 2008
Friday, October 03, 2008
Palin wants to hit Michigan
McCain pulled out of Michigan, which is interesting, but read this from Political Wire:
Anyone else think it's interesting that her campaign isn't sharing strategy with her? Or is that common?
Palin Criticizes McCain Decision on Michigan
In an interview with Fox News, Gov. Sarah Palin criticized Sen. John McCain's decision "to pull campaign resources out of Michigan, saying she and her husband Todd would 'be happy' to campaign in the economically distraught battleground state."
Palin said that when she read the news, she "fired off a quick e-mail and said, 'Oh come on, do we have to?'"
Anyone else think it's interesting that her campaign isn't sharing strategy with her? Or is that common?
The Veep Debate
Per Factcheck.org:
* Palin mistakenly claimed that troop levels in Iraq had returned to
“pre-surge” levels. Levels are gradually coming down but current plans would
have levels higher than pre-surge numbers through early next year, at least.
* Biden incorrectly said “John McCain voted the exact same way” as Obama on a
controversial troop funding bill. The two were actually on opposite sides.
* Palin repeated a false claim that Obama once voted in favor of higher taxes on
“families” making as little as $42,000 a year. He did not. The budget bill in
question called for an increase only on singles making that amount, but a
family of four would not have been affected unless they made at least $90,000
a year.
* Biden wrongly claimed that McCain “voted the exact same way” as Obama on the
budget bill that contained an increase on singles making as little as $42,000
a year. McCain voted against it. Biden was referring to an amendment that
didn't address taxes at that income level.
* Palin claimed McCain’s health care plan would be “budget neutral,” costing the
government nothing. Independent budget experts estimate McCain's plan would
cost tens of billions each year, though details are too fuzzy to allow for
exact estimates.
* Biden wrongly claimed that McCain had said "he wouldn't even sit down" with
the government of Spain. Actually, McCain didn't reject a meeting, but simply
refused to commit himself one way or the other during an interview.
* Palin wrongly claimed that “millions of small businesses” would see tax
increases under Obama’s tax proposals. At most, several hundred thousand
business owners would see increases.
So you want the good news or the bad news? The good news is, the Veep debate doesn't really matter. These two aren't going to have anything to say about policy...unless McCain or Barack die. Which brings me to the bad news....
Here's my issue with both candidates. I don't think Palin knows what she's doing. Period. Her best detectable talent in politics is memorizing talking points and repeating them like a parrot...even when asked a follow up question...or a different question entirely for that matter.
With Biden, I can't tell if he knows what he's really talking about or not, because he says everything very convincingly, even if he's dead wrong. I've really tried to like him and I don't. Despite his short-comings, I think he definitely knows what he is talking about more than Sarah Palin.
My final take? Biden won the debate, Sarah exceeded expectations*, but slipped back into her usual self by the end (somewhere just before the "Shout Out"...Oye).
* Note: Most of us expected her to make no fewer than three (3) fart noises into the microphone as responses.
* Palin mistakenly claimed that troop levels in Iraq had returned to
“pre-surge” levels. Levels are gradually coming down but current plans would
have levels higher than pre-surge numbers through early next year, at least.
* Biden incorrectly said “John McCain voted the exact same way” as Obama on a
controversial troop funding bill. The two were actually on opposite sides.
* Palin repeated a false claim that Obama once voted in favor of higher taxes on
“families” making as little as $42,000 a year. He did not. The budget bill in
question called for an increase only on singles making that amount, but a
family of four would not have been affected unless they made at least $90,000
a year.
* Biden wrongly claimed that McCain “voted the exact same way” as Obama on the
budget bill that contained an increase on singles making as little as $42,000
a year. McCain voted against it. Biden was referring to an amendment that
didn't address taxes at that income level.
* Palin claimed McCain’s health care plan would be “budget neutral,” costing the
government nothing. Independent budget experts estimate McCain's plan would
cost tens of billions each year, though details are too fuzzy to allow for
exact estimates.
* Biden wrongly claimed that McCain had said "he wouldn't even sit down" with
the government of Spain. Actually, McCain didn't reject a meeting, but simply
refused to commit himself one way or the other during an interview.
* Palin wrongly claimed that “millions of small businesses” would see tax
increases under Obama’s tax proposals. At most, several hundred thousand
business owners would see increases.
So you want the good news or the bad news? The good news is, the Veep debate doesn't really matter. These two aren't going to have anything to say about policy...unless McCain or Barack die. Which brings me to the bad news....
Here's my issue with both candidates. I don't think Palin knows what she's doing. Period. Her best detectable talent in politics is memorizing talking points and repeating them like a parrot...even when asked a follow up question...or a different question entirely for that matter.
With Biden, I can't tell if he knows what he's really talking about or not, because he says everything very convincingly, even if he's dead wrong. I've really tried to like him and I don't. Despite his short-comings, I think he definitely knows what he is talking about more than Sarah Palin.
My final take? Biden won the debate, Sarah exceeded expectations*, but slipped back into her usual self by the end (somewhere just before the "Shout Out"...Oye).
* Note: Most of us expected her to make no fewer than three (3) fart noises into the microphone as responses.
Thursday, October 02, 2008
New Shows Continue to Return
Pushing Daisies came back last night. Off to a bad start. I'll give them a pass because they are setting up season 2. I fully expect things to get better.
Chuck is the same old chuck, which is a good thing.
Heroes continues to be meh for me. They haven't lost me yet, but it'll head that way if it doesnt upgrade.
I haven't watched Prison Break yet this week. That's usually a signal that it's the beginning of the end for me. It sunk to the bottom of my priorities.
I fell asleep during Bones last night. Also a bad sign.
House continues to kick ass. It's officially back from the dead. This show absolutely jumped the shark with me, and has now defied death.
Sarah Connor Chronicles: Awesome.
As for new shows, I think they might have canceled Do Not Disturb already. That didn't take long. Make way for Scrubs! (I think DND was ABC....).
Fringe is trying to advance the plot. Bad idea. Getting stupid, very fast.
Thank god for DVRs and fast forwarding through commercials. I'd never squeeze all this in from 8PM to 10 PM without it.
Speaking of Television, tonight is Debate Night. Keep the mute button ready for when it gets too painful to listen to (and I think I mean that from both candidates. Biden isn't exactly "gaffe free.")
Chuck is the same old chuck, which is a good thing.
Heroes continues to be meh for me. They haven't lost me yet, but it'll head that way if it doesnt upgrade.
I haven't watched Prison Break yet this week. That's usually a signal that it's the beginning of the end for me. It sunk to the bottom of my priorities.
I fell asleep during Bones last night. Also a bad sign.
House continues to kick ass. It's officially back from the dead. This show absolutely jumped the shark with me, and has now defied death.
Sarah Connor Chronicles: Awesome.
As for new shows, I think they might have canceled Do Not Disturb already. That didn't take long. Make way for Scrubs! (I think DND was ABC....).
Fringe is trying to advance the plot. Bad idea. Getting stupid, very fast.
Thank god for DVRs and fast forwarding through commercials. I'd never squeeze all this in from 8PM to 10 PM without it.
Speaking of Television, tonight is Debate Night. Keep the mute button ready for when it gets too painful to listen to (and I think I mean that from both candidates. Biden isn't exactly "gaffe free.")
Wednesday, October 01, 2008
Kristin's Retarded Argument
This is all third hand, by the way. It'll probably lead to a retraction later. Basically, a best friend (Jen) and her sister (Kristin) were having a discussion about oil and alternative energy. Kristin apparently saw this advertisement, since it describes the foundation of her argument.
The Colbert Report
Get More: Colbert Report Full Episodes,Political Humor & Satire Blog,Video Archive
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Another Palin Slam
The scariest part came at the end of the clip. I knew the odds for her becoming president if McCain were elected is higher than many presidents. But I hadn't really thought of the actual odds yet. This man claims they are 1:5. That's 20%. That, my friends, is an incredibly scary gamble. Sub-prime lenders wouldn't touch it.
If someone told me I'd blog about Katie Couric more than once this year, I'd call them an idiot. Yet here she is again, making it into my column. I'd like to preface what I'm about to say with an anecdote.
My friend turned me on to a movie by HBO called Small Town Ecstacy. They originally set out to do a documentary about the ecstacy subculture. What they ended up finding was this guy in the middle of a mid-life crisis. They turned the entire movie into the documentation of this man's downward spiral and how the drug compounded the disaster that became his life. The best way to describe the movie is that every time you find yourself thinking, "this can't get worse," it does. Every time. The same seems to be holding true for the Couric interview.
Unbelievably, there is one more segment to be aired. Unbelievably, it's more disturbing than the first two. There's no crazy, convoluted answer this time. When asked to discuss another Supreme Court case she disagrees with besides Roe V. Wade, she just sits in silence.
I can hear the crickets chirping on SNL now...
Monday, September 29, 2008
McCain: It's the Democrats' Fault
McCain said earlier, "Senator Obama and his allies in Congress infused unnecessary partisanship into the process."
Riiiiiiiiiight. Let's look at some numbers, shall we?
The House contains 200 Republicans and 235 Democrats for a grand total of 435. How did the vote break down?
AGAINST: 133 Republicans (66.5% of Republicans) and 95 Democrats (40.4% of Democrats)
FOR: 65 Republicans (32.5% of Republicans) and 140 Democrats (59.6% of Democrats)
ABSTAIN: 2 Republicans ( 1.0% of Republicans) and 0 Democrats.
Tell me again how it's the Democrats' fault?
Let's PRETEND for a second that McCain is right. Surely he's the sort of leader that could rally all the Representatives from his own state, right?
Wrong. All four Democrats from Arizona voted against the measure. Wait?! Maybe it is their fault then! I'm sure he got all the support from the REPUBLICANS in Arizona, right?
Wrong. All four Republican representatives from Arizona voted against the measure.
In McCain's home state, he went 0-8 as far as unity towards passing the bill. That's some fine leadership skills there, buddy.
Riiiiiiiiiight. Let's look at some numbers, shall we?
The House contains 200 Republicans and 235 Democrats for a grand total of 435. How did the vote break down?
AGAINST: 133 Republicans (66.5% of Republicans) and 95 Democrats (40.4% of Democrats)
FOR: 65 Republicans (32.5% of Republicans) and 140 Democrats (59.6% of Democrats)
ABSTAIN: 2 Republicans ( 1.0% of Republicans) and 0 Democrats.
Tell me again how it's the Democrats' fault?
Let's PRETEND for a second that McCain is right. Surely he's the sort of leader that could rally all the Representatives from his own state, right?
Wrong. All four Democrats from Arizona voted against the measure. Wait?! Maybe it is their fault then! I'm sure he got all the support from the REPUBLICANS in Arizona, right?
Wrong. All four Republican representatives from Arizona voted against the measure.
In McCain's home state, he went 0-8 as far as unity towards passing the bill. That's some fine leadership skills there, buddy.
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