Napoleon Dynamite

There are so many things I want to write about today. Since returning, I have yet to weigh in on the Republican nomination. Fear not, loyal reader(s), it's coming. Just not today. Replacing "the Cleveland Show" last night on Fox's Animation Domination was none other than Napoleon Dynamite.

Come again?

That's right. The movie (which I loved, by the way) which was relevant for about 5 minutes in 2004 to about 50 people has resurfaced as a cartoon on Fox.

"Napoleon Dynamite"

When: Sundays, 8:30 PM EST
Who: Jon Heder, Aaron Ruell, Efren Ramirez, Halie Duff, John Gries, Sandy Martin
Where: Fox
What:

Imagine Napoleon Dynamite the movie, and now replace it in your head with cartoon characters instead of actors.

The talent:

They've reunited the entire cast, as far as I can tell, from the movie to the cartoon. This is presumably because none of them had been working anyway.

Projected Longevity of the Show:

Well, it's on Fox, so chances are if it is successful, they will subsequently mishandle and cancel it. That said, I don't think this one is ready to catch fire any time soon. The bar has been set pretty low, as it's replacing Jonah Hill's hot mess called Allen Gregory, which I barely remember hearing about and never watching.

Projected Watchability:

Women: 3 out of 10
Men: 5 out of 10

As I said in the beginning, only a handful of people have heard of the movie, so I guess there will be a lot that is lost in translation as people get to know the characters. It's going to be sandwiched in a popular line up, so it has that going for it. I tried to watch the first two episodes and fell asleep during each.

It is also worth mentioning that I've found no evidence that the Cleveland Show has been cancelled. Apparently this was just a one-time thing.

Since you were so good to read the entire post, here's your reward in the form of today's DAILY FEEL GOOD. The best part comes at the end when the report reveals that this is the third such occurrence in recent months at a Detroit Chuck-E-Cheese.

New Shows Continue to Return

Pushing Daisies came back last night. Off to a bad start. I'll give them a pass because they are setting up season 2. I fully expect things to get better.

Chuck is the same old chuck, which is a good thing.

Heroes continues to be meh for me. They haven't lost me yet, but it'll head that way if it doesnt upgrade.

I haven't watched Prison Break yet this week. That's usually a signal that it's the beginning of the end for me. It sunk to the bottom of my priorities.

I fell asleep during Bones last night. Also a bad sign.

House continues to kick ass. It's officially back from the dead. This show absolutely jumped the shark with me, and has now defied death.

Sarah Connor Chronicles: Awesome.

As for new shows, I think they might have canceled Do Not Disturb already. That didn't take long. Make way for Scrubs! (I think DND was ABC....).

Fringe is trying to advance the plot. Bad idea. Getting stupid, very fast.

Thank god for DVRs and fast forwarding through commercials. I'd never squeeze all this in from 8PM to 10 PM without it.


Speaking of Television, tonight is Debate Night. Keep the mute button ready for when it gets too painful to listen to (and I think I mean that from both candidates. Biden isn't exactly "gaffe free.")

The Truth Hurts

Tina Fey once again sums up pretty much what I read from Palin with each of her interviews so far (although I haven't seen Palin jumble together a series of talking points. Just use them, pretty astutely, to dodge questions).

Hell Hath No Fury Like a Late Night Comedian Scorned

Speaking of Katie Couric, it looks like she had a busy day....with Dave Letterman's Date.

Dave Chappelle

Those who know me know I think Dave might be the best comedic mind of my lifetime. Too bad he's also crazy. Anyway, this presidential election got me thinking about two of my favorite Chappelle skits of all time. Here they are for your viewing pleasure...

What I'm Watching Tonight

Starting at 8pm, I'll watch Bones...although each time feels closer to the last time than the first. Thanks to the amazing powers of Tivo, I'll also get a chance to take a look at Knight Rider until October 3rd. I'm curious, more than anything, but I don't expect much. I already know it doesn't stand a chance once Pushing Daisies returns October 3rd. Unless Bones takes an unprecedented, cataclysmic fall from grace (which I'm sad to say isn't totally outside the realm of possibility).

At 9pm, I'll tune in to David Blaine's Dive of Death. Sorry, I'm totally kidding. There's absolutely no chance I'll watch that. Although I do hope he dies. Unfortunately, like all of his stunts, I don't think he's in any actual danger at any point. I wish I could punch that guy and tell him he only imagined it.

In reality, Wednesdays from 9-9:30 are a sad state of affairs this year. There's nothing remotely original. At 9:30, I'll tune in for Do Not Disturb. As I mentioned before, the second episode redeemed the terrible first episode. Hopefully it develops some consistency.

Wednesday has been traditionally decent, but it looks like slip pickin's this year. I guess the good news is I get to go to bed at 10:00.

Thursday had the best lineup of the week last year: Earl, Office, Scrubs, 30 Rock. That more or less remained in tact, with the exception of Scrubs. From Wikipedia:

The season concluded on May 8, 2008, ending the series' run on NBC. The series is slated to return during the 2008-2009 television season as a mid-season replacement on ABC.

Anyone else not know what that means? Does it mean ABC has another season in the can, and plan on replacing it when something gets canceled? What if nothing gets canceled? For the moment, it's being replaced by Kath & Kim, which is supposed to be funny and edgy in Australia. We'll see how it translates.

Also crowbarred in there is SNL Thursday Night Live...as spin off of Saturday Night Live. If this sounds like the worst idea ever to you as well, raise your hand. I thought spin offs were based on shows with high ratings?

That's enough for now. I'll post Friday through Sunday on....uhh, Friday.

One Television Straggler...

I forgot about the Fringe. I stand by an earlier statement that the acting is weak. That said, it was interesting again tonight. The cool thing about the show is the possibilities are endless as far as episode to episode plot goes. It depends on what they intend to do with it. They could print money a la the Law and Order blueprint for printing money if they want. Just leave them be to investigate cool stuff, but never really advance the plot. I suspect they are going to try to move things forward though, which means it will undoubtedly get stupid sooner or later.

Quick list of shows I can't wait to come back on the air:

Earl
Pushing Daisies
Life
*My Own Worst Enemy
Chuck
*Surviving Suburbia
30-Rock(ed the Emmys)
Damages


*denotes new show

I also need to remember to check out the Mentalist pilot on Friday. I forgot to record it tonight. Off to a bad start. I suspect it's Psych-lite, without the funny, so probably not a big deal.

Fall Television Round Up

I need to comment on some old returning shows before the new shows hit in full force next month. Some of these will be quick and dirty, some of them will be drawn out.

Bones

Ladies and Gentlemen, I believe we've officially Jumped the Shark. I suspect it's when we lost one of our favorite squints to gormagon in the finale last season, but whatever reason, the show has been mediocre at best so far. I even forgot to talk about it in one of my first reviews. It was that unmemorable. I look forward to David Boreanaz's next project, whatever it may me.

Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles

I like this show a lot more than I thought I would. I feel like the plot is still developing, but Brian Austin Green is a really nice addition to an already solid cast. They haven't lost me yet. Barring a ridiculous plot twist, I should be on board for the rest of the season. It's an interesting backdrop--Sarah struggles to allow John to have a normal life, and allow herself to have a human side while they battle what's coming, with the help of what's coming.

Prison Break

Goddamnit, it's been pretty good so far. I hate to admit that. Although I must confess, I've started referring to the show as "The Company" instead of "Prison Break" in my head.

House

Not much to go on yet, but it seems to have returned from the dead. So far they're focusing on the awkwardness between Wilson and House, and Wilson's impending resignation. Omar Epps's character was the only one who advised Wilson to do what's best for him, instead of convincing him to stay. I think that's a more interesting character development than most people realize.

Do Not Disturb

Episode One was absolutely horrible. I almost wrote it off for dead. Episode Two was hysterical. I still wish they'd scrap the canned laughter, but the writing was much, much better. It bought itself a few more episodes from me, and likely another blog or two, but it might be one of those hit or miss shows. If that's the case, it won't survive. (Man oh man does it make me miss Carpoolers).

Supernatural

I don't talk much about this one, but it's a guilty pleasure. Last season, one of the main characters was damned to hell. He got out in the first 10 seconds of the new season, which I highly disapproved of. It set a sour tone for the premiere. I didn't mind him getting out, but I didn't like how they didn't even allow me a chance to feel something about his state. It was revealed at the end of the episode that he was saved by an Angel of the Lord, which puts an awesome twist on this interesting series. Suddenly God interferes with the plan. Sorta cool.

Heroes

Anyone else really disappointed? Maybe that one-hour premiere red carpet event was a bit too much hype leading up to it. It's still early, but I'm lost. Nicki seems to have no idea who she is. Peter's gone and fucked up the space-time continuem, Sylar isn't a problem, but they accidentally released 12 more that are just as bad, and Suresh went and pulled a Dr. Jeckyl/Mr. Hyde, something very out of his character. Hopefully it gets better.

On one quick political note, Sam Harris of Newsweek penned a column in the opinion section that sums up (quite nicely) 1) Why Palin has so much appeal and 2) Why we should be absolutely terrified of her. It's hilarious (in an unfunny way if we still know or care what she is doing on November 5th) for those who don't like her. It's too bitter to sway any opinions for those who do like her, but it's a great read regardless.

Tina Fey as Sarah Palin on SNL

Saturday Night Live brings you the moment you've all been waiting for:

Tina Fey in a 5 minute skit as Sarah Palin. Thank you, SNL.

Back to the Lighter Side of Television

So, the new shows are starting, and the old ones are making their way back. I've got two reviews for you tonight--Prison Break, and 90210.

I should attach a disclaimer with my review of Prison Break. My wife and I were *really* into it for about half of the first season. As soon as they got all "conspiracy that goes all the way up to the Oval Office" on us, we were sorta like, "uhh, did this just instantly get retarded?" She abandoned the show completely, I felt compelled to see where it's going.

Every time I write about the show, I criticize it. Yet I still watch. It isn't a masterpiece, but there must be some appeal. After much thought, I've decided the plot of the show is NOT retarded, but the NAME of the show is. It has nothing to do with escaping from prison. It barely had anything to do with escaping from prison in the first two seasons. The escape(s) were more of a vehicle to advance the real plot, which is the Company (which would be one of my obvious suggestions for the title of the show). But I digress....

SPOILER ALERT---Beyond this point, I will freely discuss what happened last time.

Well, the show has always been predictably unpredicable. True to form, in the first 15 minutes, they kill off two main characters from last season, but only let you enjoy it for about 10 seconds, as it is revealed that they were double-secret probation agents. It goes downhill from there.

Every year, I think "this is the year this wretched show finally jumps the shark for me." I'll let you know how many episodes I make it this year, but I really, really think this is it for me. It's been a long, painful death. Oh, and for those interested, the love interest of the main character who was decapitated last season is now alive again, and all of the main characters, enemies and friends alike, have formed a crew to steal 6 high-end blackberries from the Company, break into Company headquarters, decode said blackberries, and take the bitches down. The sad thing is the author said he had the first 5 or 8 seasons mapped out, so this can only get stupider.

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My 90210 review is much, much shorter. I saw about 5 of the last 15 minutes of the premiere. It looked every bit as retarded as I thought it would. I even felt bad for Shannon Dougherty and Jennie Garth. Talk about clinging to your career by a thread. If you enjoyed One Tree Hill and The OC, this show is for you. If you have intelligence higher than the average poo-flinging chimpanzee, it probably isn't for you.

Long Time No See!

It's that time of year again. Perhaps my favorite time of year....new shows on television. (and football season). As far as I can tell, there are 21 new shows on the docket. Here's my expectations for each. More to come, once I get to see them.

1) 90210

Jesus, why can't this show and ones like it just die? People seriously watch Orange County and One Tree Hill enough to resurrect this dinosaur?

2) America's Toughest Jobs

Not for me, but I can see how it would have some appeal. I just wish they summed it up in a show instead of a season. See: Deadliest Catch.

3) Crusoe

"Hey, what's an action packed story we can adapt to fill a slot this fall?"

4) Do Not Disturb*

Take "The Office" and move it to a hotel in NYC run by a neurotic Jerry O'Connell and you might have something worth watching. Directed by Jason Bateman (who I always thought looked suspiciously like Jerry O'Connell).

5) Easy Money

This show looks so horrible I'm not going to even discuss it. It's on the CW, which is known for throwing shit against the wall and seeing what sticks (so far, just Reaper, which probably would be cancelled anywhere else).

6) Eleventh Hour

Think "Numbers" meets "House," without the interesting, charismatic characters. Super smart bio-physics guy hired by FBI to help them out before the trail goes cold. Yawn.

7) The Ex List

A Psychic tells a woman that she already dated "the one" and missed her chance. So like any rational human being, she believes the psychic and starts working back through her ex-boyfriends. Have you started punching yourself in the face yet? I have.

8) Fringe

Creater of "Lost" so it must be good, right? Well, I, for one, thought Lost was dumb. They're being secretive about this show, so expect more of the same. Plane lands, everyone dead, brilliant but institutionalized scientist enlisted to help, blah, blah blah. When will the American Public realize shows like this insult your intelligence.

9) Gary Unmarried

It's got a chance. Albeit an outside one. I do like Jay Mohr, and with a plot line like former wife marrying your former couples counselor, it's bound to reek of awkward comedy that's enjoyed these days. In the trailer, there's canned laughter, which more or less makes it unwatchable to me. I'll give it two views. Unless it conflicts with something more interesting.

10) In Harm's Way

From the guy who brought us "Dirty Jobs," and probably watched a lot of "Deadliest Catch," we get more recycled dreg.

11) Kath & Kim

An adaptation of a similar hit in Australia about a catty Mother and Daughter. Didn't already sound awesome? Stars Molly Shannon. I don't think I can think of anything worse. In other news, NBC sucks for trying to find info on their new shows. Their web execs should be fired.

12) Knight Rider

Are you #^%&*^g kidding me?

13) Life on Mars

Sweet! Another recycled idea! Hint to networks: If it doesn't work the first time....try again in 10 years, not one.

14) The Mentalist

"Psych is working out sweet for USA. We gotta get us some of that!" Coming across an original idea this fall is going to be challenging. Instead of pretending to be psychic and solving crimes through observation, he admits to formerly being a phony psychic who is now a detective that solves crimes through observation. Psych just looks like more fun. I'll stick to that.

15) My Own Worst Enemy

Starring Christian Slater, it sounds an awful lot like total recall. Spy's memory erased, parts come back, ends up with two egos fighting each other. It did have one of the more compelling trailers I've endured. I'll give it a watch and let you know how it turns out.

16) Opportunity Knocks

Everyone is trying to find the next hit game show. This one involves them invading your home (and your neighbors). I can't even watch whatever the one is with Howie Mandel, and the host of Opportunity Knocks isn't half as interesting (not that Howie is very interesting).

17) Privileged

Watching the preview for this show made me hate my life.

18) Stylista

More America's Top Model/America's Top Designer/America's Produced By Tyra Banks Who Never Had An Original Idea In Her Lifetime.

19) Surviving Suburbia

CW's best bet this fall, starring Bob Saget. It's a case study on what people in suburbia want you to think their life is like, contrasted with Bob's son wanting to schtoop the twice-pregnant teen down the street, a lawsuit by new neighbors, and his own daughter going through puberty. Did I mention one of the new neighbors is a hot 17 year old? Smells like a winner.

20) Valentine

I'm going to give this one a chance because it's from the producer of Reaper, but it sounds pretty stupid. Basically the Gods of Olympus walk among us and help us find our soul mates. In times of Speed Dating and IMs, their power is weakening. So they enlist the help of a mortal romance novelist who absolutely and blindly believes in true love, though sucks with her own relationships. I'll give it two episodes, so the leash is pretty short. The premise is so crappy, even if it turns out to be a good show it'll likely be cancelled. (See: Carpoolers)

21) Worst Week

Looks like a big pile of suck. About a guy who goes out of his way to impress his girlfriends parents and always makes things worse. The good news is the future father-in-law is Red from "That 70s Show." He can always make an asshole feel like A REAL ASSHOLE. I'll give it a chance. Probably just one.

Not much new comedy, not many new ideas, and a strangely re-occuring theme of Suburbia. I guess that's the new "in" setting. I know there are more new shows than this, but these are the only ones I've found that are official. As they become official, I'll give my takes on others. Or as I watch them. Whichever comes first. Thoughts?

Oh, and speaking of Crap that People Inexplicably loved, does anyone know if Kyle XY is still on the air?

The Black Donnellys

I really need to start reviewing more shows here. I can't think of a better place to start than the show that is filling in while Studio 60 is on "hiatus."

For those who don't watch much TV, "hiatus" is network-speak for "canceled."

The Black Donnellys was 1000x better than anything Studio 60 has put out...well, ever. I really didn't think I'd be that into it. The show came off as every other old school rising mafia show, movie, series, etc. I can't put my finger on it, but there's something more to this show.

The characters are all pretty likable. I don't recognize them from anything else I've seen, which is refreshing. They cover the full spectrum: one brother has his act together, another is a screwup, another is a pretty (play)boy, and the last one is the tag along who is still fairly underdeveloped.

I don't want to give out any spoilers (feel free to spoil in the comments. Don't read them if you don't want to see them) in case you haven't seen it yet. What did you guys think?

There is another showing tomorrow. Check your local listings for times. You can also download the full premiere on iTunes if you missed it. I'm not sure how long it will be there, so get it soon.

The Sunday Trumpet--Friday Night Lights

Some of you are probably wondering, "Friday Night Lights--that's a movie and a television show...which one is he going to review?"


Well, chances are they both reek worse than your ass after eating Chinese food purchased at a bus station. In this case, however, I've only been 'fortunate' enough to have seen the television series.

And by 'fortunate' what I really mean is 'very, very unfortunate.'

Friday Night Lights premiered in the fall of 2006. It's sort of a stupid time to premiere a football-related television show since there's, you know, real football on TV. Guys like me love football though, and I thought it might be a good idea to get into the show so I can continue to get my football fix long after the season is over. That's where I discovered the first problem about the show.

Read: it's not about football.

I should have known better the second I saw it was starring this (and many other) doofus(es):

You might recognize him from a piece of crap TV show a while back called "Early Edition." His name is Kyle Chandler, and he hasn't really done anything of merit with the rest of his acting career if you don't count "making some poor bastard gouge out his own eyes and ears because he couldn't reach the remote." Read it for yourself here. Anyway, on to the show.

As I mentioned earlier, the show claims to be about a state championship-caliber high school football team in Texas in their first season with a new head coach. Naturally, in an hour of programming, I expected to see at least five minutes of actual football. In the full first season (yes, I braved every episode under the foolish expectation that it simply had to get better. It didn't), I never saw an episode with that much.

So what the hell is the show about? Queue the bullet points please...

• High school dating relationships
• Challenges in coaching a team that loses its star
• Steroid abuse at high schools (or lack thereof)

If you care about any of these things, stop reading right now. I'm afraid you'll somehow make me stupider by even being present at my blog. Get out of here. Now! Get! Go on! I'm serious.

Okay, for those of you that are still here, kudos. We're all in agreement that these concepts make for a show that completely alienates all potential viewers. People who like football don't care about the bullets (and don't get any football), and people who care about the bullets (approximately 34 people in the nation?) will be turned off by the football backdrop. Let's break this down one by one:

1) High School Dating Relationships

I didn't care about these when I was IN HIGH SCHOOL. Why would I care about them as a grown man? Holy crap! Jason got cheated on once he was wheelchair-bound? No crap! You mean his girlfriend actually went out and found someone who could get it up? Shocking!

I guess the producers thought if they made it as much like the OC as possible, but made it football oriented, they could get EVERY VIEWER IN THE NATION. It's not happening, guys. Stick with one demographic and go with it. We become more sophisticated buyers each year, not less.

2) Challenges in Coaching a Team that Loses its Star

You know who cares about this part of the plot? High school football coaches that just lost their star player (i.e., 7 of the 34 aforementioned people who care about the show's premises).

3) Steroid Abuse at High Schools

This is going to start off as a backhanded compliment. It's tough, touchy subject material, and it's a big deal right now, in the Pros, amateurs, colleges, and high schools. It's commendable that they try to tackle the subject in the show. But they're clueless.

In the show, ONE player STARTED using steroids mid-season after blowing a shot with a scout. That's so sweet that they think the problem is so small in high schools! I knew guys that never had a shot to even play in states. Half the goddamn team was juiced. It's a huge problem in sports, and to downplay it like this is deplorable.

So there you have it. One thing's for sure, if the movie this show is based on is fifty times as good as the show itself, I hope I NEVER, EVER SEE IT.


Man, my ass feels a lot better now. If relief was only that easy from the damage FNL did to my eyes, ears, and mind.
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JOHN EDWARD AND ALLISON DUBOIS

___________________ "I'm going to steal your money."

If you enjoy reading this blog, but believe in mediums and psychics, you should probably stop reading right now. This post is guaranteed to offend you.

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Whenever someone tells me they watch "Crossing Over" with John Edward, and not for the comedic value, I immediately deduct 15 from their highest possible IQ.

John Edward and Allison DuBois were on Oprah today (please don't ask why I was watching Oprah. It's not a regular occurrence). While I watched, it dawned on me why I'm not a millionaire.

It's because I have a conscience.

John clearly follows a formula. It's been made fun of on South Park--I searched for clips on YouTube, but unfortunately, all I could come up with was tomorrow's post--Mormons. Anyway, what Johnny Boy does is starts very generic ('I see the letter J---does anyone know someone whose name started with J?') and works to very specific (Dumb audience member: My dad's dead..his name was John...) and then says something obvious, but makes it look like a tremendous revelation. He'll follow up with something like 'Yes, John, that's it. He died recently, right?'

What the hell is 'recently?' Two weeks? Two years? He lets your imagination fill in the gaps where he is clearly lacking. I'm amazed how susceptible we are to suggestion as a society.

Anyway, I was so infuriated by the seemingly large number of people who believe these BLATANT LIARS (77% of Oprah's poll), I called dear ol' mum to vent. Turns out she is one of the 77%--not really, but she was unsure if she believed them or not. So I spewed out a little known statistic. My claim was that no medium has ever given police real information in solving a crime. The bad news is, I misspoke. The good news is, not by much. Here's a cited quote from Wikipedia:

"No psychic detective has ever been praised or given official recognition by the F.B.I. or US national news for solving a crime, preventing a crime, or finding a kidnap victim or corpse."

South Park summed it up so much better, and with much more humor, but if you believe in this sort of thing, please read some of the links in this text. It takes an incredible leap of faith to think these aren't more than very good cons.

The last bit of evidence? James Randi has a open invitation $1 million dollar challenge. If you can prove you have supernatural abilities, the money is yours. Allison DuBois refused the challenge, citing that there was no proof the money even existed. Does she not see the irony here?

And all John Edwards does is exploit the victims of 9/11. Eat rocks and die, jerk.

Them Bones

TOMORROW is the last day to vote for the idiot of the week! You can find the poll at the bottom of the lower left corner. Click the link if you need a reminder on who are two geniuses this week. Tomorrow evening, I'll have the next two contestants, along with our winner (and it's a close!). Cast your vote in the lower left column.

Bones was good tonight, although I seriously doubt a junkie would remain so cool under pressure. If you can ignore that glaring oversight, it was decent. Once again, human relationships tampering with my scientific shows bothers me, but I suppose it ropes in some sort of demographic.

And now, your moment of Zen:

Weekly television posts are lame

Alright, I tried it, and it didn't work for me. I remember wanting to bitch about heroes and studio 60, but I could only vaguely remember what they were about. Basically, you're just going to have to read (or ignore) a daily TV post along with whatever else I feel like writing about.

Heroes was markedly better tonight. The plot was interesting, and it included actual action, rather than yet another hour of set up. Overall, a nice balance. My only complaint is that there's too much going on. They always follow around at least 7 characters, and I'd like to see them whittle that down to three or four. Tonight's lucky winners were: Hiro, Ando, Jess/Niki, Claire, Nathan, Mohinder, Parkman, Mr. Bennett, and Sylar. For Christ's sake, just work on developing them three at a time. My brain ceases to care around seven.

Studio 60 had some kick ass parts, and some more garbage. Seeing Matt's ascension (and simultaneous fall) was intriguing. The love circle-jerk is shifting from annoying to infuriating. They need to scrap the whole Danny Tripp/Jordan McDeere bunk. Recovering drug addicts aren't supposed to date anyone anyways. Matthew Perry/Sarah Paulson is plenty for now. Mercifully, we weren't subjected to the budding relationship between Tom and Lucy tonight.

God, it's starting to feel like I'm watching the O.C.

Update:

For those who don't watch 30 Rock, and therefore didn't understand what I meant the other day when I said Paul Reubens had the funniest single-show appearance ever, I tracked these down for your viewing pleasure...







The first one's my favorite. It's good to see he's still getting work, even after that little "incident" in the movie theater all those years ago.

Last week in Television

Monday

Heroes: Meh. This show's inevitably going to lose me.

Studio 60: Still good, but the love circus is still annoying. Hopefully it goes in a new direction.

Tuesday

House: Mercifully, a dramatic improvement from the previous episode. It could have been the "ugly friend" factor, though. The previous episode was so impossibly bad that they could have showed 60 minutes of Hugh Laurie taking a dump and it would have been an improvement.

Wednesday

Bones: Still decent. It could have been better, and there were some predictable parts, but the overall examination of truth vs justice remained solid.

Thursday

Thursday is a happy day for me. It's two solid hours of comedic genius. My Name is Earl, The Office, Scrubs, and 30 Rock. While the first three require no introduction (they're pretty much cookie-cutter sitcoms that are well-written and entertaining), 30 Rock needs some props. Crazy megalomaniac Tracy Morgan does an excellent job playing a crazy megalomaniac, and Alec Baldwin was made for television. I sort of wish he never made movies--he's much better on the networks. Tina Fey writing is just an added bonus. Seeing Pee-Wee Herman in a bit role was about the funniest thing I've ever seen.

After that, I wind down with Men in Trees. It's been hit or miss lately, but last week it was mediocre leaning on the side of decent.

Sorry, DJShovelpants, if you still read. I gave Prison Break another shot this season, and it still sucks wind. The good news is, your old blog is no longer gay porn. It just doesn't exist.

Update: I'm going to conduct a little science experiment. It's probably not the kind of clientel I want at this blog, but I wonder how many hits I'll get from google from this:

Anna Nicole Smith autopsy pics and photographs.

How long did I last?

A week without blogging about TV? Not exactly 2008 as predicted. Anyway, rather than blog about it every day, I'm just going to do weekly updates. That way if you want to avoid it, you can. Sort of like the sponsored posts. Anyway, here's the quick hit highlights. I'll get more in depth when I actually think about it next week.

1) I *really* wanted to talk about House this week. It was the worst....episode....ever.
2) Heroes sucks.
3) Studio 60 isn't overrated. It's just slow. With too many love triangles. I can see how it's all coming together though.
4) Bones was awesome. It did have a couple poopy parts, but it was the best thing I saw this week.
5) Thursday night has two solid hours of entertainment without changing the channel. Earl, the Office, Scrubs, and 30 Rock. S-O-L-I-D. I was wrong about 30 Rock. Baldwin was made for TV, Fey is an awesome writer, and Tracy Morgan is insane.

At 11:00 every night, I like to watch the South Park reruns. I didn't fully appreciate this show at first, so I'm playing catch up. As of tonight, I have a new favorite episode. Tonight's show explained the mockery of our democratic system. Stan had to vote for a new school mascot, and his only choice was between a Giant Douche and a Turd Sandwich. It was sorta how I felt when Kerry was running against Bush.

Adventures in YouTube

Like the iPod, another technology that I never really got into was YouTube. I get annoyed when looking through libraries without knowing what I'm looking for.

Today, I'll probably become a YouTube addict. I discovered they have preserved the "Terrible" Terry Tate, Office Linebacker, advertisements. Kudos to the Reebok advertising team. In an age of boring, confusing, and/or downright stupid advertising, they hit a home run with their male demographic. Have a look folks, these never get old.

Original Vintage Terry:



Terry Takes a Vacation:



Terry Tate, Draft Day:



Terry Tate at Sensitivity Training:



Terry Tate and the Streaker:

Physical Graffiti

This post is going to be a mishmash of hodgepodge I've been meaning to get around to. On to the first order of business:

You'll notice a new button at the bottom left for something called "ExLinks." I have no idea what this is, but I've signed up for it. If anyone knows anything about what I'm getting myself into, please advice. All I know is it, in theory, will increase readership and stroke my enormous...ego.

iPods are great. I'm still learning, but so far, it's been very enjoyable. I now get to enjoy music in my car until I can swap out my stereo for one that, you know, works. Maybe I'll tell that story in my next post.

Shortly, I'll have my Fuji S2 Pro back in custody and fully operational. What does this mean to you, you ask? It means more and better pictures. For me, however, it means much more. I leaked a rumor that I would be going into business for myself (again), and naturally, this baby is the key to founding my new studio. We're exploring potential locations right now and writing a business plan. Once I'm fully operational, I'll link the new website, as well as photos of the new digs. Here's to me making my first million, and more importantly, answering to no one. (and by "no one" I mean "just my wife").

Also, I've decided I've become way too television oriented. The next post you read here regarding television will be in 2008, when Futurama returns. Movies can stay.

Speaking of movies, what's everyone looking forward to? My guilty pleasure tells me I'll enjoy Epic Movie (try to stop shuddering, Justin). Anytime someone makes fun of blockbuster movies that I typically hate (Harry Potter excluded, but he's played by a Kid from the Hall), it's going to go over well with me. My friend Kenny is very excited about 300, and after seeing the trailer, it might be pretty cool. Frank Miller writes, and though I never caught Sin City, but I heard some good things.

Things are heating up with merger talks between Sirius and XM satellite radio. As a Sirius stockholder, I'm excited. That said, I'd dump it shortly after the merger happens for the same reason I'm not excited as a subscriber. A merger would shoot the stock price up, but I can't imagine customer service would be in the competitive spirit anymore. XM uses different technology than Sirius, so the transition may not be a smooth one. Not to mention mergers are costly and time consuming. I'm pretty sure I could sell, watch it plummet, and then if it appears they're on the road to recovery, I could jump back in on the cheap.

Last thing: I'd like to split up my blogroll. I'd like one set of links to be regular reads, and another group for useful sites, places I like to go, etc. Is there a way to do that?

So there you have it. Stock tips, movies, television, photography, iPods, and ExLinks. Hodgepodge at it's finest.