Robbed

Wouldn't ya know, some asshole has discovered my credit card number and ran up a bill. I wish chickenshit thieves would limit the people they rob to those with money. Like I have time to deal with this crap, raise two kids (who now must wait a couple days for formula--thanks, prick), AND start a new business.

If anyone can get a hold of a surveillance tape at Macy's in Mason, OH from yesterday at 1:25 PM, I'd be real interested in seeing it...and suspending my pacifist beliefs for a few hours while I work the guy over.

Kids are fun

Over the weekend, my son made the transition from a crib to a daybed. I went to get him one morning and found him decidedly unconfined, prompting our decision. So far, it's gone well at bed time. At nap time, not so much.

I put him down today at 12, and he didn't sleep. I tried again at 2, and he didn't sleep. At 4 he passed out on my chest and has been asleep ever since. We're worried because he skipped dinner, and went to bed 4 hours early. We're bracing ourselves for a long night.

The trouble with cats....

We've got two cats. Mostly, we like them. We got them because my wife moved to York, PA to be with me, but quickly found herself lonely. The following week we found out she (my wife, and one of the newly adopted cats) was pregnant.

Two years and two kids later, we're growing less fond of them. One of them is a moron. He cries for no reason. He walks into walls. He panics every time we feed him. If you sit down, he sits on you--every time. It's annoying (but tolerable).

The other cat can be bothersome, but she's more fun. She fetches like a dog, generally leaves you alone unless you feel like cuddling, and is seldom caught clawing our outrageously expensive bed. She just....can't...quite....figure out the litter box.

Most cats that don't use the litter box piss wherever they feel like it. Or in one particular spot that they are comfortable with. The trouble with my cat is she uses the litter box. She just misses. Every time, she hangs her ass over the side and pisses all over my bathroom floor. Let me tell you how pleasant it is to step in cat piss when you're bleary-eyed at 6 am. And yelling at her would only exacerbate the problem, as she would likely stop using the box entirely.

Anyone know how to smarten up cats? I thought they were supposed to be brighter and more independent than dogs. Silly me...

Funny Story Time

I should be littering these in between my rants and reviews. There have be so many hilarious things that have happened at my expense, it's only right to share them with my loyal fellowship...

This is a couple years ago...I've blacked the exact date out of my mind, but it was within the last three years for sure. I suffered the most horrific allergies of my life. I'm pretty sure my wife was pregnant with our first son, so it was important (to me) to keep well enough to take care of her.

As I rifled through the medicine cabinet, I stumbled on a box of Benadryl tablets. The directions said take two and call it a night, so that's just what I did.

I slept like shit that night. My allergies were horrible, and the Benadryl was not making me sleepy (as advertised). At about 3 am, I took a couple more. All next day wasn't any better.

I complained to my wife about how worthless the allergy meds were, to which she replied, "what allergy meds?" Our horrible conversation went something like this:

Ben: "You know, the benadryl."

Deb: "What benadryl?"

Ben: "On the counter."

Deb: "Uh oh..."

Ben: "Uh oh, what?"

Deb: "Honey, those aren't benadryl. I put the immodium in that box."

Ben: "WHY IN GODS NAME WOULD YOU PUT IMMODIUM IN AN ALLERGY MEDICATION'S BOX?!"

Anyway, I took four pills in four to six hours. I'm pretty sure the recommended dose is one pill every twelve hours to contain explosive diarrhea. If you aren't experiencing such a condition, you can generally plan on not taking a dump for about three days. You will, however, still *feel* like you need to take a dump, leading to many painful yet uneventful trips to the shitter. Until day three. When all hell breaks loose.

So, what's worse than having horrific allergies?

Having horrific allergies, being physically incapable of taking a crap for several days.

Physical Graffiti

This post is going to be a mishmash of hodgepodge I've been meaning to get around to. On to the first order of business:

You'll notice a new button at the bottom left for something called "ExLinks." I have no idea what this is, but I've signed up for it. If anyone knows anything about what I'm getting myself into, please advice. All I know is it, in theory, will increase readership and stroke my enormous...ego.

iPods are great. I'm still learning, but so far, it's been very enjoyable. I now get to enjoy music in my car until I can swap out my stereo for one that, you know, works. Maybe I'll tell that story in my next post.

Shortly, I'll have my Fuji S2 Pro back in custody and fully operational. What does this mean to you, you ask? It means more and better pictures. For me, however, it means much more. I leaked a rumor that I would be going into business for myself (again), and naturally, this baby is the key to founding my new studio. We're exploring potential locations right now and writing a business plan. Once I'm fully operational, I'll link the new website, as well as photos of the new digs. Here's to me making my first million, and more importantly, answering to no one. (and by "no one" I mean "just my wife").

Also, I've decided I've become way too television oriented. The next post you read here regarding television will be in 2008, when Futurama returns. Movies can stay.

Speaking of movies, what's everyone looking forward to? My guilty pleasure tells me I'll enjoy Epic Movie (try to stop shuddering, Justin). Anytime someone makes fun of blockbuster movies that I typically hate (Harry Potter excluded, but he's played by a Kid from the Hall), it's going to go over well with me. My friend Kenny is very excited about 300, and after seeing the trailer, it might be pretty cool. Frank Miller writes, and though I never caught Sin City, but I heard some good things.

Things are heating up with merger talks between Sirius and XM satellite radio. As a Sirius stockholder, I'm excited. That said, I'd dump it shortly after the merger happens for the same reason I'm not excited as a subscriber. A merger would shoot the stock price up, but I can't imagine customer service would be in the competitive spirit anymore. XM uses different technology than Sirius, so the transition may not be a smooth one. Not to mention mergers are costly and time consuming. I'm pretty sure I could sell, watch it plummet, and then if it appears they're on the road to recovery, I could jump back in on the cheap.

Last thing: I'd like to split up my blogroll. I'd like one set of links to be regular reads, and another group for useful sites, places I like to go, etc. Is there a way to do that?

So there you have it. Stock tips, movies, television, photography, iPods, and ExLinks. Hodgepodge at it's finest.

The Terrible Twos...

My son has hit them, hard. Every response is "no," and yet, when we tell him "no," his response is to collapse and scream. I wonder if we should try the same thing on him...

I don't get ESPN, so I usually can't watch Monday Night Football unless I go to a bar. I'm so glad I stayed home last night. It could have been the worst game of all time. I was glad Seattle pitched the shutout though, even though it meant I had to lose to my own brother in fantasy football. NBC is hosting a Player Eliminator Game (PEG) that I participate in each week. Basically, you get to build your own fantasy team each week, but you can only use each player in the league once. Last night I had Seattle's Defense against the Raiders, who gave up 9 sacks (1 point each), didn't score (10 points), and were held under 200 yards (10 points). I moved up 39 spots, to 50th overall in the nation (2nd in Massachusetts). I win a HD TV if I finish in the top 5.

In other news, the rumors about Studio 60 appear to be true. It gets better each week (with Heroes getting worse), and yet, they are still going to cancel it. I sent them a letter advising them to cancel Friday Night Lights instead, and put Studio 60 in that slot. I really tried to like it, but it just sucks. The plot never advances. It's like Veronica Mars, only less interesting.