Tim Tebow

Even for those of you who have never watched a football game, you probably know who this guy is. Over the past several months, he has inexplicably become a media darling and a national icon. It's time I weigh in on the subject.

I hate Tim Tebow.

Maybe that's too harsh. I believe, at his core, he is a good man. I think he possesses qualities that I myself am jealous of. He has unshakable faith. Even after I developed a faith of sorts in God, I've never been able to remove all doubt, no matter how badly I wanted it. I've come to terms with the fact that I'm just not wired that way, and I'm very grateful for the relationship I do have with a Higher Power, even if it's a round peg in a religious square hole.

He gives to charity. A lot. He seems to genuinely care about the plight of the human race. I can't afford to give to charity, but I wonder, even if I could, would I? I like to think I would. I've even researched the non-profits I would like to give to. But at the end of the day, if the world were divided into givers and non-givers, where would I cast my lot?

He's a hell of a teammate. I cannot deny his charisma, his selflessness (although this can be debated on certain levels I won't get into here), his desire to win, and his ability to inspire. The team clearly rallied behind him, and there is no contesting that.

Maybe a more fair statement is: I hate what the media has turned Tim Tebow into for the sake of a better story.

Tim Tebow is a bad quarterback.That's a statement I can make in all fairness. For all of the intangibles I just listed, at the end of the day, he still lacks the tangibles.

"But Ben, he wins games. How can you say he is a bad quarterback when he succeeds at the only stat that really matters?"

Because the last time I checked, there are 26 guys on a football team, and 13 more that play on special teams (which may or may not be part of the 26 that play regularly). Football teams count on 53 guys to win on any given Sunday, and Tebow is just the guy who is getting the credit for their success.

In his final game of the season, Tebow went 9-for-26, 136 yards, no touchdowns, no interceptions, and a fumble lost. He's only been above 50% in completion percentage twice in his brief career. In 23 games, he has completed 167 of 353 passes, for a dismal 47.3%, 17 touchdowns, 9 interceptions, and a very, very mediocre 75.1 Quarterback Rating. Dear Readers, there is a chance that I could post similar numbers in an NFL uniform.

I heard on television this morning, consistent with the media rhetoric, that these are better numbers than Aaron Rogers and Drew Brees had coming into the league, and that Tebow will be a force in the NFL for years to come. If I were to venture a guess, I would say he has less than 3 years left, and if for some reason he goes longer, it's out of fear of a media backlash, or a backlash from the fans that inexplicably continue to defend his piss-poor play at the quarterback position.

Amazing Catch

This is one of the best catches I've ever seen. I don't think it's more impressive than Manning's Super Bowl Miracle to David Tyree, but in all fairness, the whole play is amazing in that case. This is just a hell of a catch.

The Downside of Working Around a lot of Mics

You're gonna want to turn up the volume around second #11.

Football Wrap Up

I'll try and make this quick. Last week, I revealed my playoff picks. I'm thankful none of you made fun of me, but I understand that it's more likely my readership is down to 3 people, and perhaps a few pets when the owners leave for work. Anyway....

New York Jets
Denver Broncos
Pittsburgh Steelers
Dallas Cowboys
Arizona Cardinals
New Orleans Saints
Carolina Panthers
Philadelphia Eagles

Those are the teams I picked to make the playoffs that won in week one. The prospects of the Jets making the playoffs improved dramatically with the season ending injury to Tom Brady (When I said, "suck it, Tom Brady," I didn't mean suck it all the way to the IR).

I'm also pleased to report that, while still early, my Bears looked pretty good Sunday night. Matt Forte is the real deal, and it's been a while since Chicago could say that about their RB. Orton, while conservative, looked sharp. If the Bears can get a real WR, that offense might be in business.

Football, with a Dash of Politics

I really wasn't going to blog about politics today. Just because last night I watched the equivalent of "I Have a Dream" or "Ask not what your country can do for you" of my lifetime, I was still willing to just let it simmer a day or two. Then McCain tapped his Vice. My initial thoughts were--"wow, smart pick." He's more or less guaranteed he'll pick up some of the idiots from the last post (or secure them). She also lends him a hint of lost Maverick, and an air of change. Then I read this:

Larry Kudlow of CNBC’s “Kudlow & Co.” asked her about the possibility of becoming McCain ticket mate. Palin replied: “[A]s for that V.P. talk all the time, I’ll tell you, I still can’t answer that question until somebody answers for me what is it exactly that the V.P. does every day?"

So let me get this straight.....you're qualified for the position, but one month ago, you didn't know what the responsibilities were? I'm sure that quote won't make its way into any Obama/Biden ads (eye rolls). Someone already coined the term McCain/Palin, Trophy Wife/Trophy Vice '08.

More on this later. I have a lot to say of the revelations of the last few days. Football is less work right now. I intend to pick this year's playoff contenders and Super Bowl Champion. To be successful at such a feat, one must be very good at picking names of teams at random from a hat. First, your 2008 Division Winners:

AFC East
Drum roll please. Ladies and Gentlemen, J-E-T-S, JETS, JETS, JETS. Can you believe it? me neither.

AFC West
Denver Broncos

AFC South
Jacksonville Jaguars

AFC North
Pittsburgh Steelers

AFC WILD CARDS
San Diego Chargers
Indianapolis Colts

Let the insults ensue. Not only did the Jets win the east, the Pats missed the playoffs. Suck it, Tom Brady.

Now, on the the AFC Punching Bags...errr...the NFC.

NFC East
Dallas Cowboys (See, they aren't all shockers).

NFC West
Arizona Cardinals (Just most of them)

NFC South
New Orleans Saints

NFC North
Minnesota Vikings

NFC WILD CARDS
Carolina Panthers
Philadelphia Eagles

So who's in the big game, you ask? From the NFC, the Minnesota Vikings. From the AFC? Woof. Tough call. I'll go with the Broncos. And this year's super bowl winner (determined by the flip of a nearby nickel) is...............

The Denver Broncos. Congrats, Shanahan, Cutler, and the rest of the team.


OH! I almost forgot! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JOHN MCCAIN! He's looking quite spry for 72 years young. Anyone know what the average male human life expectancy is off the top of their heads? What happens if he dies before the election?

One last edit. For anyone interested in reading a well-respected economist brutally rape and sodomize John McCain's economic position and promises, have a look at what Clive Cook had to say in his article today.

http://www.nationaljournal.com/njmagazine/wn_20080830_3947.php

Hat tip to www.electoral-vote.com for alerting me to it.

The Chicago Bears Brass

What a collection of idiots.

Lovie Smith is about to be the lowest paid coach in the league. Again.

I mean, all he's done is take the Bears to the Super Bowl in three years. All he wants is a fair wage (which, incidentally, is $4-5 million for a coach with a bowl appearance). Yet the Bears insist on low-balling him. Players are calling for a mutiny, refusing to sign contracts until their skipper gets an extension.

The ownership is about to tear apart the locker room, and all the progress that has been made since a rash of 4-12 seasons.

Turd Watch

This isn't a sponsored post. It's just a great site for football lovers.

It's time to pimp my favorite site--profootballtalk.com. I wish I could say I've followed them since the beginning, but the truth is, I missed the first year or so.

This site is the absolute best football rumor mill on the net (they actually have factual content). When they aren't breaking stories, they're trying to change the NFL, in a humorous way.

One of the biggest problems with the NFL is it's becoming the NBA. Every star is also a convict. It sends mixed messages to the kids. This problem has caused ProfootballTalk to spawn the "TurdWatch."

TurdWatch tracks arrests and convictions of players on each team throughout the calendar year.

"The scoring system is simple. Seven points for a felony arrest. Three points for a misdemeanor arrest. One point for a conviction," per the website.

Currently, Tennessee took an early lead, but San Diego is closing the gap. No worries, the Bengals plan on storming the standings all at once.

I think the real intent of the turdwatch is to inspire the NFL to actually punish players and teams that can't seem to figure out they are role models. I hope they succeed. I mean, does anyone watch the NBA?

Super Bowl MVP

Well, we lost the game. Or, I should say, Rex lost the game. I really hope they explore new options at quarterback in the future. They're talking about slapping the franchise tag on Lance Briggs, which would irritate me.

Yes, it would guarantee he'd stay in Chicago, which I'm all for. But for Christ's Sake, we're like 35 million under the salary cap. Pay the man.

On to the title, the Super Bowl MVP. Peyton Manning was voted, but if you ask me, 250-something, 1 TD, 1 INT are pretty pedestrian. They're RB ran all over the place. If it's got to go to someone on the winning team, make Dominick Rhodes and Joseph Addai co-MVPs.

If you want my vote, it goes to Devon Hester, despite the fact he was on the losing team. He was the first person ever to return the opening kick for a touchdown, and after that, they wouldn't kick to him. He changed the other team's game plan. The Bears average starting point was the 41 yard line as a result. They would have been better just kicking the ball out of bounds.

Awesome pick, Bears. With that sort of talent, he'll be winning a lot of games for us. Hopefully next time the rest of you can help close the deal.

Super Bowl Bound

Been a while since I've done a football post. Many of my readers may not realize it, but I'm a Bears fan. I've sat through many, many shitty seasons waiting for this Sunday.

First things first, Chris Harris (safety for the Bears) is a scumbag. Don't make promises if you don't plan on keeping them, especially to a season ticket holder. It's fine if you forgot the promise, but when you see the tape again, pony up the cash. I hope the Bears flush you after the super bowl.

I think my Bears will pull it off. Like they say, "offense wins games, defense wins championships." If nothing else, I think it will be a great game and the Bears will cover the spread. If you're betting on the game, take the Bears and the points. They've only lost twice this year by more than 7, and once was in a meaningless week 17 game.

Jerry Angelo, if you stumble on this blog, thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I know you had your doubters, but you've led us to the promised land. Now resign Lovie Smith and Lance Briggs to 10 year deals.

UPDATE:

This is hilarious if you want to look at it during the game. Which Rex Grossman will show up?

Old Friends and Red Auerbach

Some very good friends from Pennsyltucky just dropped in for the weekend for a visit. We spent the weekend having a grand ol' time in Boston, including the this desecration of a legend. I hope his sense of humor is as keen as his skills as a coach. (I do feel slightly guilty because he died last October).


We also went to the Medieval Manor Theatre for dinner. This fine establishment offers a six course meal, eaten without silverware, while the King and his court entertain in a very interactive production. If there is one near you, check it out. The one in Boston is worth every penny.

Hail to the King, Baby. Good God, am I ever loaded in the above pic.

Since inappropriate photography was a theme in Boston this past weekend, I feel I should also share one more shot with you. I call it, "Me love you long time!":

Looks like I wasn't the only one up for desecration--if you look closely, the Captain was here.

I capped off the weekend watching my Bears in a great game (until the 4th quarter) as they advance to the Super Bowl to meet the Colts. It's also worth noting that for the first time in history, a black coach is in the big game. In fact, there's two. Congratulations to Lovie Smith and Tony Dungy. I know a lot of men and women made sacrifices so that you would be allowed to represent them. It's pretty stylish that you get to represent together.

Finally, if you've enjoyed this post and you're a first time visitor, please visit the sponsors, tip your waitresses, and come again. Go Bears!

The Terrible Twos...

My son has hit them, hard. Every response is "no," and yet, when we tell him "no," his response is to collapse and scream. I wonder if we should try the same thing on him...

I don't get ESPN, so I usually can't watch Monday Night Football unless I go to a bar. I'm so glad I stayed home last night. It could have been the worst game of all time. I was glad Seattle pitched the shutout though, even though it meant I had to lose to my own brother in fantasy football. NBC is hosting a Player Eliminator Game (PEG) that I participate in each week. Basically, you get to build your own fantasy team each week, but you can only use each player in the league once. Last night I had Seattle's Defense against the Raiders, who gave up 9 sacks (1 point each), didn't score (10 points), and were held under 200 yards (10 points). I moved up 39 spots, to 50th overall in the nation (2nd in Massachusetts). I win a HD TV if I finish in the top 5.

In other news, the rumors about Studio 60 appear to be true. It gets better each week (with Heroes getting worse), and yet, they are still going to cancel it. I sent them a letter advising them to cancel Friday Night Lights instead, and put Studio 60 in that slot. I really tried to like it, but it just sucks. The plot never advances. It's like Veronica Mars, only less interesting.