While our government struggles with pieces of legislation about whether gays should marry, or who determines a woman's right to choose, I have a far more pressing matter that I think deserves your attention.
Here's what I propose: a law that bans airing commercials about certain products during the hours of a normal dinner, say 5:00 p.m to 8:00 p.m.
I'm tired of sitting down to dinner and watching a hair clog shoot through a drain courtesy of liquid plummer. I have no desire to hear about Herpacin while I'm consuming anything. And is it really necessary to watch a cartoon bear wipe his ass while I'm having meatloaf? Do I really need to hear about periods with excessive bleeding or yeast infections while eating mac and cheese?
I'd start a petition, but more than one administration has made it abundantly clear that they don't read them, or care about their approval rating.
On that note, our Commander-in-Chief should enjoy a nice spike in approval rating thanks to the death of Abu Musab al-Zarqawi (which has left me decidedly far behind in my annual dead pool). This spike will last until the American public figures out that all we've done is:
- created a martyr.
- promoted the #3 terrorist, whose name will make headlines shortly.
- inspired one-thousand more zealots to take up arms and join the cause for their fallen hero.
War is not the answer.
Update: In reference to the claim that one-thousand more zealots will take up arms, my brother asked me if I had any data about the number of civilians we've killed over there as a result of our invasion. Imagine, if you will, someone invading the United States to liberate us from George W. Bush. In the process, your house is bombed and your son/daughter/father/wife/mother/brother/sister or all of the above are killed. Who do you hate more, Bush or the invaders?
Here's the link, Dave. It's a pretty astounding minimum and maximum number.
Update II: We didn't have to wait long. #3 was officially promoted.