Wednesday, January 18, 2012

The Republican Class of 2012

I'm late to the party this year. Three would-be candidates have already dropped out, so reviewing them would be pretty pointless now. I suppose I didn't miss much in the cases of Michelle Bachmann (lunatic) and Herman Cain (seriously?), but John Huntsman was a terrific candidate that never gained any attention.

Huntsman is smart, patriotic, conservative, handsome, and he's never flip-flopped. All things important to any self-respecting conservative. Plus, he had a top five record in job creation while he was governor. Anyway, it's all for nothing now, on to the five who (technically) remain.

Former Governor Mitt Romney:

Mitt's big selling point to the general public is that in this economy, we need a business man for president, and as a business man, he made a mountain of cash and created "over 100,000 jobs."

I'm not going to contest that he made a mountain of cash as the CEO of Bain Capital, but I do question at whose expense that came. Also, his claim of creating 100,000+ jobs is questionable at best. He claims it is a net-net (jobs gained from successful companies, minus jobs lost at companies that went out of business), but he really hasn't provided any data to back that claim up. Come to think of it, he still hasn't provided his tax returns either. Ever.

My last point on Romney, as governor of Massachusetts, he came in (drum roll please) 47th in job creation during his time as governor.

Newt Gingrich:

Newt is a hell of a debater. He's won every debate I've watched so far (nearly all of them), but at the end of the day he just isn't going to make it. Romney's Super PAC destroyed him in Iowa and he hasn't recovered. If he doesn't recover in South Carolina, he's done.

He also managed to not get on the ballot in Virginia. Plenty of politicians skip certain states (Santorum should have skipped New Hampshire, Paul plans on skipping Florida) but generally you don't skip your HOME STATE, and WHERE YOUR CAMPAIGN IS HEADQUARTERED. It generally shows Newt lacks the organization to make a serious run at this point.

He's only staying in at this point to tear down Romney, angry because of what his Super PAC did to him in Iowa. The irony is, by staying in he is only helping Romney by fracturing the "anti-Romney" field, dividing the remaining votes.

Rick Santorum:

"If you got no money and you got no car, then you got no woman, and there you are..."

-Young MC

Rick Santorum has no money. He almost managed a win in Iowa thanks to the fact that Iowans HATED every other possible candidate. That gave him the cash to continue and compete in New Hampshire and South Carolina, but he doesn't have the money to compete in Florida. That's a good thing because he believes kids with a father in jail is better for the kid than to have two gay parents.

Rick Perry:

This guy should have quit after finishing 5th in Iowa. He should have quit after garnering 1% of the vote in New Hampshire. He probably should have quit after he couldn't recall which three agencies of government he would eliminate during a national debate. Yet he presses on. He's dead in the water, so I won't waste any more time on him.

Ron Paul:

I love Ron Paul. He consistently tells the truth (at least more than most politicians) and stands behind what he says, even if it's insanely unpopular, like his foreign policy.

I like his foreign policy too. If you're not familiar with it, he wants to stop policing the world, bring our troops home, secure our own borders, and stop wasting money. What's not to like about that?

He's viewed as a cross between a cantankerous old grandfather and a lunatic by most people. Ultimately, he doesn't have a chance to win the nomination. However, he and Mitt Romney show they are in a dead-heat vs. Obama in recent polls. I'd be interested in seeing what that poll looked like if he ran as a 3rd party candidate against Obama AND Romney.


I almost forgot a major player in the election cycle.

Stephen Colbert:

After polling at 5% in South Carolina, 1% above the now defunct John Huntsman, Stephen Colbert has turned his eye towards the presidency. Since it is too late to get on the South Carolina ballot, Colbert is urging all of his supporters to vote for Herman Cain. It'll be interesting to see how much support a candidate who is no longer in the race can garner.

It should also be noted that Colbert has appointed Jon Stewart to head his Super PAC, The Definitely Not Coordinating With Stephen Colbert Super PAC, Americans for a Better Tomorrow, Tomorrow.

Jon Stewart, "a loose cannon," as Colbert describes him, even ran an ad portraying Mitt Romney as a serial killer:

Things could get interesting by Texas. It's not too late to get on the ballot there, so there is a distinct possibility that he could actually be awarded delegates.


Ray Hardaway said...

Colbert winning Texas. That would be awesome. Welcome back brother. Good to see you writing again.

Valerie said...

Ahaha where did you get that picture of Perry? It seriously made me guffaw. Only could have been better if it'd been Santorum... ah well, we can't have it all I guess...

I thoroughly enjoy your commentary