Thursday, January 11, 2007

Alpha Dog

I'm not sure where to begin, so this is as good a statement as any:

Never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never cast Justin Timberlake as a bad ass. Period.

I've got a better chance of having a good, long, investigative look at Bea Arthur's nether region than seeing this film (or perhaps open this special box from Justin Timberlake), but I remember seeing Jesse James Hollywood on America's Most Wanted and Unsolved Mysteries, so I decided to look up his Wikipedia entry.

Basically, this moron kidnapped the younger brother of someone who owed him money, partied with him for a few days, then learned from his lawyer that kidnapping for ransom is punishable by life in prison. With that knowledge, he decided it was too risky, and they should kill him. Yeah, because murder doesn't carry a life prison sentence.

Good job, dummy. I hope he's convicted in a state that carries the death penalty.

6 comments:

justin said...

By all critical accounts, Timberlake is amazing in this role. The reason you shouldn't see it is that Nick "The Notebook" Cassavetes has not made a single good film and likely only continues to do because of who his father was. This one looks like a Larry Clark knockoff. Since Larry Clark films are of a rather dubious quality already, this makes Alpha Dog highly suspect. Also, the praise for Timberlake's performance should set off alarm bells, but not for the reason you are thinking. Since this film debuted at Sundance a year ago, there has been faint OSCAR buzz around Timberlake, and yet the film doesn't find itself released until early January. This places it just outside of OSCAR eligibility. January is a dumping ground for OSCAR bait films that didn't make the grade (see also Freedom Writers) and horror films that sucked too much to even fool people at Halloween (see Primeval). Ultimately, Alpha Dog would probably be worth a look on DVD, if for no other reason than to make an informed decision about Timberlake's acting ability (let's not forget that he comes from the same Mickey Mouse Club class that also produced Ryan Gosling who has been brilliant in The Believer and Half Nelson). For now, it is probably best to look up Larry Clark's Bully on DVD to get your teenage violence exploitation fix.

Ben said...

Since Timberlake is playing a thug from wealthy suburbia, he at least half-fits the role. I just can't see him as a criminal. Sorta like if they got a young David Spade.

A knock off of a low quality film? Tell me again why I (or you, or anyone) should even rent this?

justin said...

Sometimes it is worth it just to see a great performance. I'm thinking of something like Primal Fear. This film is damn near unwatchable, and yet features the breakthrough performance of young Edward Norton. Overall, this is a pretty good young cast. Maybe don't rent it, but catch it when it shows up on Sundance channel. There is sometimes a difference between good and interesting.

Ben said...

Call me a skeptic, but I don't think the former front man from N'Sync is the next Ed Norton. I've been wrong before, so we'll see.

That said, if he's even watchable, I'd have to concede he's got talent. Split careers between singers and actors are few and far between (at least those who are enjoyable to watch in both genres).

dj shovelpants said...

Hey man, I don't know shit about Timberlake other than I hope he falls on a knife. That being said, let me issue a warning to you, Ben.

Don't visit I'll Be Dashed anymore. It's gone and in it's place is a porno website. Explicit pictures, the whole works.

Yeah. Not my doing.

All I did was delete my blog and within 2 hours, some porno a-holes snatched up my address and it's chock full of unsavory pics.

Just thought I'd warn you, yo.

Keep in touch. I'll keep checking in with your blog when I can.

Peace!

- DJS
djshovelpants@yahoo.com

Dave said...

im not a timberlake fan, but i actually started respecting him a bit recently, but only because he was invovled in this...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rbZxlEZFZCQ