Alpha Dog

I'm not sure where to begin, so this is as good a statement as any:

Never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never cast Justin Timberlake as a bad ass. Period.

I've got a better chance of having a good, long, investigative look at Bea Arthur's nether region than seeing this film (or perhaps open this special box from Justin Timberlake), but I remember seeing Jesse James Hollywood on America's Most Wanted and Unsolved Mysteries, so I decided to look up his Wikipedia entry.

Basically, this moron kidnapped the younger brother of someone who owed him money, partied with him for a few days, then learned from his lawyer that kidnapping for ransom is punishable by life in prison. With that knowledge, he decided it was too risky, and they should kill him. Yeah, because murder doesn't carry a life prison sentence.

Good job, dummy. I hope he's convicted in a state that carries the death penalty.