Thursday, January 11, 2007

Alpha Dog

I'm not sure where to begin, so this is as good a statement as any:

Never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never cast Justin Timberlake as a bad ass. Period.

I've got a better chance of having a good, long, investigative look at Bea Arthur's nether region than seeing this film (or perhaps open this special box from Justin Timberlake), but I remember seeing Jesse James Hollywood on America's Most Wanted and Unsolved Mysteries, so I decided to look up his Wikipedia entry.

Basically, this moron kidnapped the younger brother of someone who owed him money, partied with him for a few days, then learned from his lawyer that kidnapping for ransom is punishable by life in prison. With that knowledge, he decided it was too risky, and they should kill him. Yeah, because murder doesn't carry a life prison sentence.

Good job, dummy. I hope he's convicted in a state that carries the death penalty.

3 comments:

Ben said...

Since Timberlake is playing a thug from wealthy suburbia, he at least half-fits the role. I just can't see him as a criminal. Sorta like if they got a young David Spade.

A knock off of a low quality film? Tell me again why I (or you, or anyone) should even rent this?

Ben said...

Call me a skeptic, but I don't think the former front man from N'Sync is the next Ed Norton. I've been wrong before, so we'll see.

That said, if he's even watchable, I'd have to concede he's got talent. Split careers between singers and actors are few and far between (at least those who are enjoyable to watch in both genres).

Anonymous said...

Hey man, I don't know shit about Timberlake other than I hope he falls on a knife. That being said, let me issue a warning to you, Ben.

Don't visit I'll Be Dashed anymore. It's gone and in it's place is a porno website. Explicit pictures, the whole works.

Yeah. Not my doing.

All I did was delete my blog and within 2 hours, some porno a-holes snatched up my address and it's chock full of unsavory pics.

Just thought I'd warn you, yo.

Keep in touch. I'll keep checking in with your blog when I can.

Peace!

- DJS
djshovelpants@yahoo.com